Loving Yourself, Realization, and Taking Responsibility

**This is somewhat of a rant, vent, blur of words...don't judge**

My goals for the month of September shifted. Dramatically. The more I started reading again and running {which is another topic} I started to self reflect more. I went back to my counselor a couple of weeks ago after not seeing her for almost a year and a half. During that hour talking with her, I came to a lot of realizations, without even knowing it. 

Self reflection is important, almost as important as meditation. Who we are and who we see ourselves as is what keeps us going, gets us through happy moments and sad. The more I dove into myself, I was finding that I've gotten a little lost over the past two years, since tiny human was born. I've been taking time for myself, but was I loving myself? Am I able to get up in the morning, as happy as I may be and say, "I love who I am and who I am growing to be"? 

No, I could not. 

I realized that at some point I had gotten wrapped up in materialistic things again and wasn't focusing on the more important virtues. Yes, I eat healthy and I exercise but I also splurge and sometimes over-exercise {which really does NO good whatsoever}. I was worried about what we had planned for the upcoming weekend, what my hair looked like and if my outfit was cute enough. 

I realized that I don't know people as well as I thought I did. 

I realized that I am surrounded by a lot of negative people who don't love themselves enough to live a healthy lifestyle. They are so wrapped up in cosmetic and materialistic properties that their health isn't even a priority. With this realization, I have learned that I don't really want to be surrounded by people who don't treat their health as a priority. I want to be around people who are going to be dancing with me when I'm eighty years old, and traveling to Maui when we're 85. 

I realized I have a huge love for kale {random} and that making it a daily discipline to eat it at least once a day isn't that hard. 

Each day in September I am loving myself more and more. I am feeling free and happy and more in love with my husband than ever. I like to blame the fact that I am taking responsibility for my actions, thoughts, priorities and am moving forward instead of standing still. Despite my small hip injury {i hate that word} I am still getting exercise. I am changing my diet and I have new daily practices. I'm hoping that once I get everything more organized I can start blogging about it in a better fashion. 

I am remembering every day that health is wealth and you can't be healthy until you start with loving yourself and taking the responsibility that only YOU are capable of. 

Stay Healthy, 

Rene

Ahhh, A-Rod, We Meet Again

As I posted earlier {via my blog post on East Valley Moms Blog} I mentioned that it's that time... Time for Fantasy Football! This will be my fourth year playing and I think I am MOST excited about this year. I am participating in two leagues, one with other moms from EVMB and the other along side my husband and some of our friends.

I have done fairly well in past years, always getting either first or second place. Last year, I was quite proud of my first place ranking and owe all of my thanks to Mr. Aaron Rodgers. {Yes! I drafted him AGAIN!}

Don't get my excitement for drafting him confused with being a Greenbay fan, because that I am NOT. No way, definitely NOT. 

Our EVMB league used an auto-draft because of our busy mom lives. We couldn't all coordinate a day to sit down and do a draft, let alone the fact that a few moms have no idea ANYTHING about football.  I am pretty pleased with my draft, with the exception of my TE, Rob Gronkowski. GREAT player, yes and ordinarily I'd be quite happy with him as my TE pick, but since he's injured and will be out for a little while longer while healing (from back and forearm surgery) I am a bit bummed. 

The rest of my team is as follows:

QB: Aaron Rodgers, GB

RB: Stevan Ridley, NE

RB: Frank Gore, SF

RB/WR: Cecil Shorts, Jac WR

WR: Wes Welker, Den

WR: Eric Decker, Den

TE: Jared Cook, StL

Flex: BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Cin RB

D/ST: Seahawks

K: Blair Walsh, Min

On my bench: 

Rob Gronkowski, NE TE

Daryl Richardson, StL RB

Mike Williams, TB WR

Joe Flacco, Bal QB

Rams D/ST

Dan Bailey, Dal K

Golden Tate, Sea WR

Fred Jackson, Buf RB

Not a bad team if you ask me... They are all strong players and what has helped me in the past is consistency and starting my studs; such as A-Rod. Last year I considered benching him after his HORRIBLE first few weeks and am glad I didn't as he ended up getting me quite a bit of points! Since my team of choice is the San Francisco 49ers, I am SO happy that I drafted Frank Gore!! Now I can actually cheer for a fantasy player while I'm cheering for my team. Was hoping to get their Defense but the Seahawks are great too. 

My tips to myself for this year's league: 

1} Start my studs, always even when I doubt them.

2} Keep track of BYES week after week. 

3} Check my line-up throughout the week, watching for injuries and suspensions 

4} Don't judge the season by the first few games

5} Talk smack to my fellow leaguers 

This will be an exciting season, and I can't wait to root for my 49ers again!! 

Who are YOU rooting for? 

Teenager, Toddler & a Starving Momma

I eat pretty much the same thing everyday for breakfast. It's either egg whites and plain oatmeal OR my yummy RVL shake {I always prefer this one, since it tastes like eating cake}. As you know from previous posts, I love breakfast. It has always been one of my favorite meals and if I could just eat breakfast all the time I would be happy. French Toast, pancakes, muffins, donuts {yes, I said donuts}, omelets, berries, ok... you get the point.

So my teenager is taking a Culinary Arts class in high-school this year as one of his electives. We figured we'd let him take a "fun" elective class for his Freshman year and he can follow through with his three years of a foreign language his Sophomore, Junior & Senior year. So far, I am loving this culinary arts class. At back to school night we had the pleasure of meeting his teacher, who is a total hoot, and she shared with us that by the end of the year, they would be required to cook at least one full dinner meal a week. SCORE!

This week in class they made some breakfast concoction that my son said was fabulous and he wanted to cook it for me. That would be AWESOME! Of course I went to Safeway yesterday and bought him the necessary ingredients that I did not have on hand {such as chorizo}. I have been waiting for this morning of yummy breakfast that my son is cooking for me, all week.

I am a pretty early riser, usually up by 7am on the weekend since my toddler is usually up by then. When I am not doing a fasted cardio workout first thing in the morning, I need to eat pretty close to waking. Like, within 30 minutes or I get shaky. Need my protein!!!

I am thinking that I needed to coordinate this a little better with the teenager who likes to sleep until mid-morning and is also feeling under the weather. I woke up this morning, mouth watering for eggs and pepper-jack cheese with chorizo {which I haven't eaten in over two years, so we'll see what my stomach thinks of that}. But, here I sit at 8:30am, starving.

While waiting, I decided to make some blueberry muffins that I had in the pantry for the toddler. Thinking I'd have eggs to eat I wouldn't want one...

I was wrong. Do you see how yummy they look?

Yes, I ate one. And I'm still waiting patiently for my eggs, as I sit here with a growling tummy. It makes me remember being a teenager and sleeping in until 10am on the weekends without a care in the world. No job {at the age of 14} and no responsibilities other than laundry and cleaning bathrooms. No thought in the world that my parents may be waiting for me to get up and make them breakfast.

Oh to be 14 again...

Herpangina, what is that?

105 fever, lethargy, and grumpier than ever.

Let me rewind a bit.. do you remember my love/hate relationship post about parents bringing their sick children to the gym? Well, if you haven't read it, you can find it here.

Yes, my child has been a bit sheltered for the past couple of years. Is that really a bad thing? It's a large debate among parents every-where and I fall on the side of when the time is right it's right. I would much rather throw my child's immune system for a loop at the age of two instead of six months old. Heck, I'd really like to wait until after his third birthday but c'mon, mommy needs her gym time.

I am a stay at home mom and I do "get out". I just choose to stay away from friends with sick kiddos and play groups where I know a parent is bringing their sick child. My child isn't exactly an "easy" child and when he's sick it doesn't make things any better...

So one week after the first cold (from the gym daycare) came about, my tiny human started acting funny again. By acting funny I mean sticking his hands in his mouth gagging himself. Teething again? Sore throat? Strange toddler curiosity? I thought it was the wicked molars until Saturday afternoon's 105 fever.

A fever we couldn't break.

This, of course, led to a trip to the pediatric urgent care. After taking his temperature (rectally if I might add) and checking his pulse, they said, "oh yes, something isn't right." Really? That's why he is here.

That is when the doctor dropped the possible diagnosis.

Herpangina.

Say what???

Apparently, it's a summer virus that affects wee little ones in the form of a sore throat, high fever and lack of appetite followed by sores or lesions on the back of the throat. Nice. Just another virus that he picked up from the gym daycare, and hopefully one we won't encounter again. The high fever was a bit scary, especially when you can't get it to come down very easily.

Today, he is almost back to normal, bouncing around playing, talking and singing. Of course, says dear husband... waste a whole weekend being sick and as soon as he goes back to work Monday morning, tiny human feels better. The story of parenting!

Now it is Monday and time to get back on track. The weekend ended up being kind of a wash and aside from strolls around the neighborhood, workouts were literally non-existent. 

Sun, Sand & Waves

Vacation.

We needed it.

So we went. 

To Newport Beach, CA. 

We swam and laid by the pool. 

Travis saw the ocean for the first time... 

...and loved it. 

I enjoyed my beach time, and my beach hair. 

And Travis napped, very little. 

I did cartwheels in the sand... 

And stood with my feet in the sand. 

We jumped for joy... 

And did some yoga... 

Made lots of good memories with family and friends. 

I never thought I'd ever move back to California.... but someday, I just might. I loved the area and will definitely be returning in the near future. 

We had so much fun hanging out at the pool, drinking Margaritas at Fred's in Huntington and being silly on the beach. 

It was by far the best family vacation we have been on yet! 

Five More Days.

It is so hard for me to believe that my little type-A personality baby is going to be two years old in just five days.

Exactly two years ago today, I was scheduling a pedicure for the following day, packing my bags and walking, walking, walking. I remember it all clearly, and can't believe that it was so long ago. Seems like it was just yesterday.

He is amazing, just like his brother. Smart, funny, active and sociable! Everywhere we go, he's raising his hand waving and saying, "hi!" to everyone in his sight. He gets quite confused when the occasional passerby doesn't say "hi" back. I guess I've just learned that some people just don't get kids, like kids or want to be around kids. Others get so ecstatic when he waves, complimenting me on my friendly little boy and proceed to carry on a conversation with him. It's quite refreshing.

He's come around so well... he's sleeping better, eating better and is just, well, happy. No complaints from me. If he's grumpy, it usually means it is because he's tired, hungry or thirsty! Such a difference from the first year of his little life.

On the other branch of the tree... Joey has five days of school left. It's silly that he has to go back for two days AFTER the Memorial Weekend Holiday, but whatever. Once he's done he'll be an official Freshman. Crazy. I remember him turning two and running around with his "gee-kee" (pacifier). Time flies... and I'm enjoying every minute of it. Blessed, thankful and overcoming life's obstacles.

The boys are healthy, Paul and I are healthy and we are enjoying life. That is how it should be. For everyone.

I hear so many people complain daily about this or that, and don't get me wrong, I was there. I get it. But... there is happier, healthier life. Why wouldn't you want to live that way? Things I ponder... Hoping I can help inspire others to want to live happier and healthier!!

Was feeling a little crafty

Friends and family that know me well, know that I don't do a lot of crafts. I wish I did, but I don't. I don't have that creative eye or mind for making gifts, doing projects or making art to hang around my house.

While browsing Pinterest one day, I came across a pin that I thought would be fun to make for an upcoming graduation party we planned on attending. THAT is my kind of crafting. Seeing someone else's project and adding my own touch to it, making it my own. I guess you could say they inspire me!! 

Here is the pin that I saw on Pinterest 

Here is what I managed to put together, using the basic idea of a "Liquor Bouquet". 

After searching my whole house for my hot glue gun, I ran out to Target to purchase this one for $3.99. It worked perfectly! 

The bouquet can be easily customized, with mini wine bottles, more alcohol or even some little tasty treats too! Candy, cookies... 

I chose to only do a few different liquors, as we had gotten the graduate another gift as well. It seemed to be the perfect amount! 

I had a great helper who was supervising me from the couch. I was quite impressed that he didn't want to play with the hot glue gun! 

Once I got all of the liquor attached to the wooden dowels, I just placed them into the foam and arranged them like I would flowers. 

I used paper strips to cover the foam, it worked perfectly! I pressed them down in to the foam so they wouldn't just flop out.

I was quite pleased with how it turned out! The graduate and his parents both loved it as well! I could have easily added some little graduation caps or diploma scrolls, but I honestly ran out of time. (Yes, I was procrastinating)

Let me know what you think! 

Mom's Lemonade

When my mom was visiting last month, she brought so many lemons I didn't know what to do with them!

My oldest son is always asking for Lemonade and since I won't buy that Countrytime crap (even though it tastes amazing) I opted to make our own lemonade with fresh home grown lemons.

Since it is already well into the ninety degree range here, it is a perfectly refreshing drink to have in the afternoon, after working or playing outside. Poured over ice, it quenches thirst and gives you the satisfaction of a sweet dessert. 

It is SO simple and easy to make and can be modified if you like it a little more sour or sweet.  The first time I made it, I followed my mom's recipe and used sugar. Of course it tasted great but I wanted to change it up a bit and use Agave nectar to keep it on the healthier side. It really depends on your taste for sugary drinks.*  

You can also juice all of the lemons and portion them out into freezer bags so you always have the lemon juice ready to go for mixing! Just take the bag out, let it thaw and mix up a new batch of lemonade! So simple and takes less than five minutes to mix it up. 

There is really so much you can do with the lemonade; another thing I was going to do was pour the lemonade into popsicle molds so we have homemade lemonade pops! It's so simple and tastes great!

Ingredients:

1 C Fresh Lemon Juice, 5-6 lemons 

5-6 C Water

2/3 C Agave Nectar (or  1 C white granulated sugar~ which ever you prefer)

Directions:

For me, I cut all of the lemons in half, they fit in to my hand juicer easier that way. They can be juiced which ever way you want, and whatever works easiest for you. Mix lemon juice and water and stir in agave nectar. I started with a small amount of agave until it was sweet enough for my boys to drink. (You can always substitute part granulated sugar part agave as well). I like to slice another lemon to throw into the juice, it not only looks nice but still adds a little more lemon flavor to the drink. 

*The conversion for sugar to agave is 1 C sugar = 2/3 C Agave.

Challenges

Today was challenging, to say the least.

It started like most days do lately. Husband rolls out of bed to get ready for work and toddler starts yelling, "mama! mama!" from his room.

I roll over and the clock says 5:45.

The sun is up and I can hear the dog stirring in the family room in his crate. I roll out of bed and grumble and groan. Stretch my stiff, getting old body, get dressed and head to the "awake" side of the house.

Each day starts the same. But each day doesn't always go the same. Today pretty much fell apart. I let my emotions get the best of me more than once. Does it mean it's the end of the world? No way. Will I get a good nights sleep tonight and wake up refreshed tomorrow? Absolutely.

I had a lot of self talk today, mostly negative. I didn't get to work out, it's Thursday and I can't go to bootcamp on Thursdays so of course I didn't make the time to work out at home. My mood goes downhill fast, I'm snapping at the dog, toddler and myself.  I realize what is happening but on days when the dog pees in the house (on the carpet for the first time in 4 months), toddler doesn't nap and I eat a handful of chocolate covered blueberries, I have a hard time remaining positive.

And now, as I sit here and reflect on my day, I realize how blessed I am.

I have two beautiful sons who call me Mom and a loving, patient husband who stands beside me through everything. I have a beautiful home, I am lucky enough to be a stay-at-home-mom and I am physically able to walk, run, bend, stretch, and use both of my hands. So what if my dog had an accident in the house? He's a dog. So, my toddler didn't take a nap "as scheduled", big deal, tomorrow is a new day. I ate crappy? Meh, no one can be perfect and that stomach ache I have will go away.

Challenging. That is exactly what today was and I learned so much about my emotional limits and I also learned that it's ok to have a bad day once in a while. I can't wait to wake up and be blessed with another beautiful day tomorrow.

Take the good with the bad, we all have days in which we feel defeated. Take a step back, a deep breath of fresh air and laugh at all things challenging.

Training for Life

102 was the high today and I'm thinking it feels a little too early to be that hot. I can't believe summer is already approaching and we haven't replaced our air conditioners yet. (They are awfully old and one is leaking so it actually doesn't work...)

Today, I chose to workout at 6am instead of 9:30am and I was happy I did. The sun was already out and shining bright but there was still a nice cool breeze to keep me cool while I ran.

We did three separate circuits today, rotating through each of them twice, with a running lap in between. After taking a few days off towards the end of last week, today's workout was just what I needed. It was hard enough to make me sweat but not so hard that I couldn't get all of my reps in. I worked out with a new girl today and the highlight of my workout was when she said, "Wow! You are in really good shape, what are you training for?" My reply? "Life."

I have been waiting a long time for someone to ask me that so I could respond with "Life."

Who is it that has led so many people to believe that working out, eating healthy and staying fit has to be because you are "training for something"? I feel that if everyone would eat healthier, exercise and educate themselves on proper nutrition we might all be happier! I know for me, when I eat really well and workout, I am flying high. It's my drug and I'm addicted. When I don't get it, watch out.

Lately I've been asking myself what are my goals. At one point I thought that I might want to be brave enough to train and enter a fitness competition. Not necessarily fitness, but maybe bikini. I'm not sure how much support I'd have and I really don't know that I can (or have) get together enough money to pay for all that is involved in doing a show.

I had the goal of running a half-marathon, well, I've done two now.

I had the goal of participating and finishing Tough Mudder, well, I did that and have plans to sign up again next year.

So, what exactly am I "training for" now? Life. I want to feel good and look good. Inside and Out. I want people to ask me, not "what am I training for" but "what are you doing? How are you so happy and healthy?"

I'm working on a list. Maybe a couple lists. The foods I am cutting out, the new workout routines I'll be doing, some certifications I'd like to get and goals I have for my family in general. I'd love to share them with you all when I get them finished! I am excited for new things, the new doors that have been opened to me and I can't wait to look back on this post knowing that I set goals and achieved them.

The highlight of my night? My push-up and plank challenge that I did with my husband. It was fun and now I'm determined to keep up with him. He beat me by one push-up (20-21) and I beat him with a 3:10 plank. (his was 2:45). Who knows, maybe we can start incorporating this little challenge before bed every-night?

Two months later...

Today is exactly two months from when I wrote my last post about PPD. I was feeling very down and thankfully because I recognize it, I can help myself to get better.

February came and went with a blurrrr... dinner with friends for my birthday, a visit from my favorite cousin and more smiles from my two growing boys.

February also brought Tough Mudder. What an experience!! It was both mentally and physically challenging. With the help of my friends and loving husband I even faced my biggest fear. There were tears involved but sometimes that's what helps me conquer something.

















If I said I wasn't tired after all of the obstacles and the 12 mile run I'd be lying. My body hurt, everywhere but my spirits were flying high. Knowing that I set out to face the obstacles and the challenge and accomplished it was SO rewarding.

And.. if I wasn't crazy enough to do that, one of my really great friends and I had signed up to do another Half-marathon together, THE FOLLOWING WEEKEND. Crazy.

We did it and we did it with smiles.



Even though it was the dear husband's birthday he brought the boys out so that they could meet us at the finish line. THAT was my smile for the day!



I took about a week off after both of those events and then started right into my bootcamp 4-5 days a week. I can't stress enough how much exercise helps me. It truly is my drug and I choose to keep it my drug. I don't want to be on Zoloft or Prozac or whatever else there is out there, I want to stay healthy, active and enjoy my life medicine free.

Since I've gone back to bootcamp, I've started doing Boxing/Kickboxing as well which is AMAZINGLY therapeutic. I go at least once a week and for the last three weeks in a row I've gone twice. Making kickboxing my 2nd workout of the day on Wednesdays. I am learning so much more about my body, my core and my inner strength. I can't wait to see what magic it has done for me after a couple of months!!