The Magic 3's. Two of them to be exact.

I am older, wiser, more stubborn and feeling more confident than ever.

I had another birthday this weekend, yesterday. I am another year older and am excited about this. Not excited about the wrinkles that have shown up around my eyes but I am excited that the older I get, the more relaxed I get.

This last year was particularly hard for me, emotionally. I feel that it had a lot to do with something I haven't talked a lot about with many people for fear of judgement.

After giving birth to Travis in May 2011, life was not easy but it also wasn't as hard as other peoples lives. I am thankful for what I have been blessed with inside and out but I was left with deep depression. One that I never thought possible of feeling.

I sought out help in November 2011, at which point both my doctor and the therapist she referred me to said I was "fine and just needed to get out more".

Ok.

Well, at the time I was running 5-6 times a week and granted I wasn't sleeping or going out with friends (which I didn't really have at the time) I felt I was "getting out".

A few more months went by and I was still feeling these sad moments, happy moments and I had a lot of anger built up inside. Towards what? Who knows..

I sought help again.

This time I met with a therapist once a week for about 6 weeks. She was great and helped to instill confidence in me again. I started "getting out" and actually made some really great friends during this time. I stopped seeing her and it's been almost a year since.

Life is such a learning process. We are constantly learning about ourselves, our family, our friends and where the flavor of vanilla comes from (yeah, I won't go there). I know, looking at the past year and a half that I have battled PPD. So many suffer from it, and so many don't get help. I don't believe you always have to turn to medicine for help but sometimes it is necessary.

Today is a new day and I am greeting it with open arms and new habits. I am going to continue eating healthy and exercising and focusing on me and my family while still moving forward in my journey away from postpartum depression.

Saw this...

And loved it. It was seen by my eyes at the perfect time in my life.

I think
I thought
That
True love
Is preferring
One someone
At their worst
Than
Any number
Of other someones
At their most
Prestine
And absolute
Best. 

-Tyler Knott Gregson-

14-day Waiting Period

It would be our luck to provide a home to yet another animal that isn't "healthy".

Years ago, we adopted two cats and within the first week, one of them presented health issues. These issue stuck with her/us for the duration of her life in our home.

We have had Rocco for 10 days and yes, he is sick.

We aren't really sure what's wrong with him other than GI issues. Kind of ironic, since Travis was born with so many GI issues. Our cat, Lily had GI issues. Joey has had GI issues in the past.

What is it with us and GI issues?

I am not one who is normally very spiritual, in the sense of God. But I do believe in something. What that something is, not sure, but something.

Something, or someone is testing us. We wouldn't be given these challenges if we weren't thought to be able to handle them. Right?

Nothing is easy, I get that. But, come on, really? We adopt the most loving, mellow, passionate little pup and he too has GI issues?

Of course, when we brought him in to our home, we "applied" for pet insurance. We have paid a lot of money in tests and medical bills in the past for our cat and didn't want to take that chance with our new dog.

Of course, there is a fourteen day waiting period for coverage. So, what are you supposed to do in those first two weeks of ownership if the pup gets sick? Yes, you have to pay. And yes you still have to pay for coverage of insurance. I'm not really understanding the whole logistics of it, but it is what it is. I'm sure once his policy goes in to affect on February 7, he will be the healthiest dog for the next 365 days. At least we know if he isn't, we will have help...

I just want my pup to be ok. He's miserable and lethargic and there isn't anything I can do to make him feel better. It's almost the same as when Travis is sick and I can't explain to him why he feels this way. I'm sure he's confused and scared and other than love him, I don't really know what I can do for him.

We wait.

And see how he does over the next couple of days.

During our 14 day waiting period.

A new year, Rocco and less chocolate.

Wow.

It has been so long since the last time I wrote in my blog that I forgot my login information.

Instead of writing a recap on the last nine months, I'm going to keep most of it in my handy dandy brain that I've got. So much has gone on that I couldn't even begin to write about it.

Travis is almost twenty months old. That means terrible twos are just around the corner. Joey is thirteen and starting high school later this year. Scary. What's even more scary is that I was a freshman in high school when I met his father...

2012 was sort of like a soul searching year for me. I started meditating more, practicing yoga, running, working out in a manner I'd never done in my life, and I connected with my friends and family more than I had in previous years. I made diet and lifestyle changes that have helped me tremendously and I've now had to give up on my favorite relaxing activity, the sun.

I was diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma in October and had a pretty large area of subcutaneos tissue removed from my lower back. Needless to say, it scared me. It isn't something I got from the sun, but the sun could make it appear elsewhere, quicker. It's genetic and I "got it from my momma" (along with  many other beautiful assets I got from her). She too, has been diagnosed...

They did get all of the cancer, however, I have to be seen every six months by my dermatologist for pretty much the rest of my life.

I've made some amazing friends this past year and I think that too plays a part in me not typing away at my computer. My classes kept me busy over the last two semesters and I didn't really have free time to just, write.

Our latest news is our newly rescued Maltese, Rocco. He is nine months old and so far, deeming to be an excellent source of therapy. While Travis has gotten jealous of his new little brother, I think that over time they will become best friends. Joey is still "bonding" with him and I'm waiting for that special moment when they cuddle on the couch together.

It's gloomy today. I feel that it is quite appropriate as I sort of have a dark gloomy cloud lurking over me this week. My ex-husband, who is now one of my close friends, left for his fifth tour in Afghanistan on Monday. My heart goes out to his wife, their four year old son and our own son, Joey. I'm not sure why this tour is affecting me like it is, but I'm hoping the time goes quickly and he and his group are home safely at the end of this year.

I work out. A lot. Some weeks more than others, but lately I'm participating in some sort of "challenge" through the bootcamp I attend. I know I won't win, but it's still fun to challenge myself to the diet changes and the workouts. I'm succeeding with the workouts, failing on the diet. I'm not going to lie, I divulged more than once into the leftover Christmas Hershey Kisses...

Hoping now that life has slowed down I can write more. Wait, didn't I say that last time?

Since April is almost over, I guess it's time for an update

Today is April 23 and it's currently 97 degrees outside. Most people complain over and over about the heat, but not me. I love it. It makes me happy and I am a better person when it's warm! I swam for the first time this weekend, a little earlier than I usually take the dive, but it felt so good after laying out in the sun for 15 minutes.

April has flown by just as fast as the rest of the year has and I can hardly believe that Travis will be 11 months old this coming Friday. That means, only one month left until his 1st birthday. Wait, what? Did I say 1st birthday? Yes, time is flying.

I've continued with my hot yoga practices this month at least once a week, sometimes twice. I really enjoy it and how it makes me feel both during and after. I've still been running and even completed another 5k. It was called the "Firefly Run" and it was a night time race through the streets of downtown Phoenix. I was joined by a few girlfriends and we had a blast, ,or at least I did anyways. I ran my fastest 3.1 miles I've ever run and was so proud of the accomplishment. Now I'm resting up for the Warrior Dash coming up this Saturday. Myself and four girlfriends will be dressed in our hot pink tutus and pretty in mud tanks as we move through the obstacle course.

My spring classes are coming to a close with my last final due this weekend. I am so ready for the three month break before I start my Anatomy & Physiology class in August. I don't have a whole lot planned for the summer other than swim, swim and swim some more.

Joey is doing great in school, keeping on top of his grades and we aren't having any trouble with him and teachers. It's such a good feeling to know we are raising such a well behaved boy! I just don't know how to swallow the fact that he will be 13 in just a few short months. A teenager? Oh my...

Travis is all over the place. Can't keep that boy still. He loves to explore and show off his early adapted walking skills. It's hard sometimes because I feel like he is much older than he really is. I have to remind myself constantly that he is still a baby. His tummy issues are getting better, he's fully on Similac Alimentum formula and seems to be handling it very well. He's still having some issues with the solid foods, but I think in time he will outgrow the allergies and his pickiness. I think it's kind of going hand in hand.

Homework break is over, time to get back to work before Travis wakes up from his nap. Can't say that I'll write again soon, because I really don't know...