Monday, February 11, 2013

The Magic 3's. Two of them to be exact.

I am older, wiser, more stubborn and feeling more confident than ever.

I had another birthday this weekend, yesterday. I am another year older and am excited about this. Not excited about the wrinkles that have shown up around my eyes but I am excited that the older I get, the more relaxed I get.

This last year was particularly hard for me, emotionally. I feel that it had a lot to do with something I haven't talked a lot about with many people for fear of judgement.

After giving birth to Travis in May 2011, life was not easy but it also wasn't as hard as other peoples lives. I am thankful for what I have been blessed with inside and out but I was left with deep depression. One that I never thought possible of feeling.

I sought out help in November 2011, at which point both my doctor and the therapist she referred me to said I was "fine and just needed to get out more".


Well, at the time I was running 5-6 times a week and granted I wasn't sleeping or going out with friends (which I didn't really have at the time) I felt I was "getting out".

A few more months went by and I was still feeling these sad moments, happy moments and I had a lot of anger built up inside. Towards what? Who knows..

I sought help again.

This time I met with a therapist once a week for about 6 weeks. She was great and helped to instill confidence in me again. I started "getting out" and actually made some really great friends during this time. I stopped seeing her and it's been almost a year since.

Life is such a learning process. We are constantly learning about ourselves, our family, our friends and where the flavor of vanilla comes from (yeah, I won't go there). I know, looking at the past year and a half that I have battled PPD. So many suffer from it, and so many don't get help. I don't believe you always have to turn to medicine for help but sometimes it is necessary.

Today is a new day and I am greeting it with open arms and new habits. I am going to continue eating healthy and exercising and focusing on me and my family while still moving forward in my journey away from postpartum depression.

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