My Head Hurts

It aches. I want to go home. Only 1 more hour to go and I will be released and on my way to my nice cozy bed. Tonight at work has been terribly slow. I am looking forward to switching to swing shift and getting off at 2am....I'm done with the 2am-6am slump. I want to be at home with my hubby, cuddled up to him so nice and warm!

I think I'm getting sick. I think Joey is getting sick. He told me he had a headache when I put him to bed tonight and when I picked him up from school he said he had a sore throat.....I now have had a horrible headache since 4pm yesterday.....can't shake it. Usually if it's just a "headache" it goes away, not this one. My neck aches, my back aches and my brain aches....

I've decided not to apply with the agency I was looking at. I was watching an episode of "Cops" yesterday and sitting on the couch with my little one....I decided I am where I need to be, in the safety of a building with no bloody subjects to touch, no puke in the back of my veh, not running around searching for a subj with a gun and more importantly when it's raining, I am INSIDE!!! I'll touch more on that one later....

For now....I'm done. It's almost 5am and my shift is almost over. I dont even have the engery to write. ...

Contemplating

We've talked about moving. Getting out of here and starting somewhere new. We've thought of Arizona....Sometimes I think it's more of a dream than what it really is, reality. Can we do it? Can we afford to just pick up and leave? To go somewhere new where we have no idea what it is really like to be there? On one hand that is very exciting to me....on the other...scary....

I've always wanted to become a police officer. Ever since I was young I wanted to be a part of something but never really knew what until I was about 23 and going through a divorce. I had applied with a few agencies but was still young and scared. I gave up while in backgrounds with a potential employer. I got cold feet and pushed my dream aside. Two years ago I decided to pursue my dream again but only taking a different path. I became a dispatcher. It was the toughest hoop I've ever jumped through. The hiring process is not an easy one and I was able to get through. I passed through the 46 weeks of training in just 42 weeks and am loving every day of my job. I do, I love it! I am the type of person to always want more....

One of the agencies I dispatch for is hiring again. They had put hiring on hold for a while and I didn't really think of ever applying anywhere else. Not many agencies hire "entry level" or "police trainees". This one does. I have an itch. I have the itch to go to the Police Academy and become a police officer. I am just not sure where my husband I stand in our living situation. Are we moving? Are we staying? If we are staying I'm definately applying....but there is an application deadline. If we are leaving I will apply in the new city we are moving to. Only downfall is I won't know much about the city, where as now, I actually dispatch for this agency and I know how they work and I know what's expected from dispatch....

Basically I'm contemplating applying....I want to, a big part of me really wants to, but there is a very small part of me that thinks it isn't a good idea.....

Here we go....

This is my first blog. Well...I take that back, that's a lie, I've had an online diary in the past, years ago before they were called "blogs". (or at least I didn't know they were called that). I sometimes leave a few words on myspace...

I will introduce myself. My name is Rene and I have a lot to talk about. Always. My dad always told me that I "talked to much". I am 28 years old and I feel like I've done a lot for my age. I have been married, divorced, moved across the country twice and have remarried again to a wonderful man. The first was just practice....

My son is 8 and he's my best friend. My husband is my companion, lover, friend, confidant and all around a GREAT guy!

I am a 911 police dispatcher and love my job. I never thought I could go to work and say "I love my job". It's a great feeling that most don't have. Most go to work because they have to and because it's just what you do. I have to work, dont get me wrong, but I wanted a career that was fulfilling, rewarding, challenging and NEVER boring. I got it. Answering to the public every day on 12 or 14hr shifts is definately all of those things. Telling cops where to go is the best part! :)

I love the sun. I love to be active. I snowboard, wakeboard, ride dirt bikes and anything else I have the opportunity to try. We enjoy these sports as a family and I hope to do so for many years! I'm not old yet!!!! I'm moody and emotional at times, but mostly happy and stable. I love to watch Cops and CSI but House and Grey's Anatomy are my favorite. I work graveyard so you could call me a night owl, I love to sleep during the day.

I am so happy to now have a place to write out my feelings and feel no judgement by anyone. If you are going to judge me, keep it yourself. I am who I am and I have no regrets. Everything I've been through, I've been through for a reason and wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't crossed those bridges. I've burned some and helped build some.

Thanks for reading! The End.