8 Weeks.

Travis is 8 weeks old today.

The last 8 weeks haven't gotten any easier, in fact, they have gotten harder. After cutting everything out of my diet, also called a "Total Elimination Diet" there was still no change in Travis and he actually had blood in his stool. His pediatrician diagnosed him with Allergic Colitis and suggested we switch him to formula. This decision was both very difficult for me and easy at the same time. Easy only because I didn't want to see my child suffer anymore as something I was eating was tearing up his insides. It was difficult because breastfeeding is something that is so important to me and I really wanted to be able to provide for him as I did for Joey.

After 5 days on Similac Alimentum formula he had an amazing day! Two of them in fact and his pediatrician did another stool test and it was already negative for blood. We actually thought things were looking up and the road we were on had come to an end. We were wrong. Late that evening he started with his screaming again.

Let me just explain something. I understand babies cry. I understand there is a thing called "Colic" (ie: we don't know). What Travis has is not normal baby fussiness. It's painful cries for hours and hours all throughout the day and nothing consoles him. He wakes up screaming in pain, falls asleep after tiring himself out from screaming in pain. It's not normal and we have had his pediatrician and a GI specialist both tell us that, "This isn't normal. This is excessive and we need to fix this so that it doesn't cause later problems."

Another 6 days of crying and I called his doctor, again. I think I've talked to her at least once a week for the last 8 weeks, I'm sure she's tired of hearing from us. She advised that at this point, we need to seek help with a Pediatric GI Specialist. On Tuesday, July 19 I took him to see this specialist and she had yet more "trial and error" ideas she wanted to practice on our son. She said that she *thinks* he has several severe food allergies and can't even be on the Alimentum formula. She switched him to a prescription formula that has completely broken down food proteins and should solve the problem. It's called Elecare and it's not exactly cheap. BUT we will pay whatever price we have to to fix our baby boy.

After just 2 bottles of Elecare Travis was worse. He was acting the same way he used to act when he was on breastmilk and it only got worse throughout the night. The next morning I called the Dr. again to see if this was normal... he was horrible. Screaming, tears and exhausting himself so much he wouldn't eat. When she called back, she said it was rare to have a reaction to that formula but to stop giving him that one and we'd switch to Neocate. Ugh. Switch again....

Right now we are going on day 4 of the amino-acid based prescription formula. There is a difference from when he was nursing, but there is no difference from when he was on the Alimentum formula. For both his pediatrician and the GI specialist, they said if there is no change with the formula then we are going to start running tests on him to see what it is. They've already ordered an ultrasound of his brain, (yes, this freaks me out) and they are going to do blood work and test his urine.

This hasn't been a fun journey by any means. I can't remember the last time I actually felt, happy or relaxed for that matter. It's been one thing after another and I just wish we could reach a solution. I am so tired of trial and error and I'm breaking down. I'm exhausted, only getting about 3-4 hours of sleep a night and barely any naps during the day since Travis will only sleep 20-30 minutes at a time. Of course, during that time I have to eat, shower or wash bottles <---not my favorite chore.

I'm not giving up, but I sure do feel like it times. I cry daily and my body is starting to physically hurt. I am so thankful that I have such a loving supportive husband who will listen to me when I'm a blubbering mess and an 11 year old son who is so understanding to the situation. He's even worried about Travis. We all are.

He finally just fell asleep so I am off to join him...

Where do I begin?

Today, Travis is 4 weeks old. Hard to believe that 4 weeks have already gone by since I gave birth to him. Everything went smoothly and Paul even got to catch him! He weighed 7lbs 7oz and was 21 inches long. At 2 weeks he was already up to 9lbs 3oz so I'm excited to see what he weighs at his Dr appt this coming Tuesday. It was an amazing and beautiful experience and hypnobirthing worked great :) I would definitely recommend it to anyone who is planning on a natural childbirth.

The last four weeks haven't been easy. We have had company most of the time and Travis has a very sensitive little tummy. I am breastfeeding and having to cut dairy, eggs and soy out of my diet. I can pretty much eat the same thing everyday: plain oatmeal for breakfast with some fruit, plain chicken or turkey with fruit and/or veggies for lunch and then the same thing for dinner. I never realized how many food items have dairy in them and how much dairy I actually eat! Same goes for soy... pretty much all processed foods/snacks have it in them and it's really made me even more aware and health conscience of what I put into my body. I think the biggest thing I miss is ice cream. Thankfully though, this new diet is working.

It's been pretty hot here this past week, up around 110 each day and still 90 degrees at 10 o'clock at night. We've still be trying to get out and go for walks, even though it's close to 100 it doesn't feel too bad because the sun is setting. Travis really likes the walks and loves to look around and take everything in. Now, if only we could get Joey to enjoy walks or even running for that matter...

Joey has had a good summer so far, he's had lots of sleepovers with friends, fun with family that was visiting and just plain ol down time. On Monday he will be flying to his dad's house for 3 weeks where I'm sure he'll stay busy and have a good time too. When he gets back, he and Paul are going on a father/son camping trip with a friend of Joey's to go play with airsoft guns in the woods and just sit around and be boys. That is still a month away and hopefully I've really got the hang of Travis by then and actually won't mind the weekend alone.

My time is up... Travis is hungry.

No underwire, thank you.

As I have become more pregnant and my belly has turned into a basketball other things have grown too. Since I've had to stop working out I've noticed an unfortunate (but fixable) difference in my rear and hips. Up until about two months ago I was still wearing my ever so comfy and favorite Victoria's Secret bras but of course, like "regular" clothes, that had to come to an end.

I hadn't given much thought about actually buying a nursing bra until I absolutely needed to, but wearing a sports bra every day has been getting kind of old and I needed something that had more of a "bra" look to it. I didn't want to go to VS and just purchase the next size up because starting in May, I will be wearing nursing bras for at least the next year. What is the point on spending $45 on my favorite bra now, only to wear it three months and then possibly not even be able to wear it after breastfeeding for a year, I'm sure my size will change, again.

I started with Motherhood Maternity, hoping that since in the back of the store they have a huge wall of nothing but bras. I've stayed away from that wall, because well, I just didn't want to be shopping for that yet! When I went in, the annoying girl who always seems to be working when I'm there, was there. She decided she'd help me even though I didn't want any help. Her useless help obviously got me no where and instead of walking out of there with new $19 maternity/nursing bras, I walked out with a new pair of shorts. (in hopes that it will be warming up soon).

When I got home, I started texting all of my friends who have been recently pregnant and used nursing bras. Most of my friends don't/didn't nurse their babies so it was a tough one. One friend in particular, who thinks a lot like me and has a larger bust like me, was the one who hit the jackpot. She sent me the link of a bra on Nordstrom.com that she used during her whole year of nursing and said it was amazingly comfortable.

These bras come in so many different types, just as regular bras do. Underwire, no underwire, flap, no flap. While I have always worn bras with underwire for own personal preferences, going to a nursing bra, I find that I should NOT be wearing underwire. It's great now, but honestly it's the most uncomfortable thing imaginable. With a basketball under my shirt, having that underwire dig in is not something I want to experience day after day, not to mention it's not good for you to wear while nursing because it can cause your milk ducts to clog.

No underwire it is. Since I really didn't know how these bras felt I had to make a trip to Nordstrom. Of course, their website has several different bras and they only carry one in the store. Of course. I ask to try it on and they don't even have the accurate size that I need, but I was able to gauge which one to get based on the comfort of the two I tried on. This bra was like heaven. I could wear it 24 hours a day and be comfortable, so I ordered it and I can't wait for it to be here!

It's amazing though, how much we pay for comfort. Maternity bras that I tried on at Target and Motherhood were around $15-30 and so horribly uncomfortable. This one that I ended up purchasing from Nordstorm was a whopping $55!!! But... that's comfort. Not much more than I pay for a bra a VS and I'll be wearing it for at least a year so really it's not that bad!

Shopping for all things baby is fun, exciting, confusing,  and most of all expensive but it is so worth it!