Just go to sleep!!

Another month already half over and I still can't tell you what day it is. I'm lucky if I am getting 6 hours of sleep at night, (that's a lot considering the average is 4-5). I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and just plain going insane.

I've started running again to help me clear my mind and get me out of the house. Most of the time it works, but on those days that 1/2 mile into the 3 mile run Travis starts screaming, it's not so therapeutic. I am proud that I have worked up to a 3 mile run as my regular workout, just wish I could go longer. 3 miles takes me about 30 minutes and that's about all Travis is good for.

Travis is two weeks away from being 4 months old and still is a horrible sleeper. I tried to "sleep train" him but it only seemed to make matters worse, so I have gone back to just living by his schedule. Not great, but better than he was when I was trying to force him to sleep when and where he didn't want to.

He is growing like a weed and learning new things each day. He has happily discovered his feet and toes and likes to play with them any chance he gets. He still isn't rolling over but I like to blame that slow development on his horrible first two months. He has rolled over from belly to back a few times, but nothing regular.

Joey has two weeks left of this first quarter in Junior High, hard to believe. He's doing well so far. He has all A's and one B. I am hoping that he can maintain those grades for the next couple of weeks and then continue with that next quarter as well. I'm not sure if he's into girls or not yet, I'd like to say "not" but he's 12. Is he really going to tell his momma everything? I doubt it.

I'm tired, I want a break and I can't wait for my trip to California in a few weeks....

Really? September?

Looking at the calendar today, I can not believe that it's already September. Almost one year ago (this month) we were blessed with that little blue line on the pregnancy test. It started the journey that I never imagined. I have learned more about myself, my husband and my family than I ever thought I would.

I really wanted to blog about this journey a little bit more since Travis was born but his health issues have really tied my hands behind my back. I haven't been able to read, work out or even call to catch up with an old friend. BUT, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Travis is 3 months old now and doing much better than he was just a month ago. His food allergies are under control with Neocate and even though we are still working on getting his reflux under control, he's doing much better. He is still a horrible sleeper and hasn't developed any type of routine. He is sleeping about 11-13 hours in a 24hr time frame which to me doesn't seem like enough sleep for his age, but I guess it could be his "norm". I'm hoping to transition him into his room in the next week or so with hopes that he might sleep a little better at night.

In other news, I have started a 30 day challenge for myself. A few weeks ago I started running again but had to stop due to our lovely Arizona temperatures. Yesterday I started up again and am hoping to run at least 4-5 days a week and use my elliptical or go for a walk on the other days. I feel so much better when I am working out, I just haven't been able to get into any sort of work out routine with Travis and his temperament. It's only been two days and I can already feel the difference in my mood and my body.

Time for bed, Travis will be waking me in the wee early morning hours and I'm going to try and go to the track with the hoosband....

 

8 Weeks.

Travis is 8 weeks old today.

The last 8 weeks haven't gotten any easier, in fact, they have gotten harder. After cutting everything out of my diet, also called a "Total Elimination Diet" there was still no change in Travis and he actually had blood in his stool. His pediatrician diagnosed him with Allergic Colitis and suggested we switch him to formula. This decision was both very difficult for me and easy at the same time. Easy only because I didn't want to see my child suffer anymore as something I was eating was tearing up his insides. It was difficult because breastfeeding is something that is so important to me and I really wanted to be able to provide for him as I did for Joey.

After 5 days on Similac Alimentum formula he had an amazing day! Two of them in fact and his pediatrician did another stool test and it was already negative for blood. We actually thought things were looking up and the road we were on had come to an end. We were wrong. Late that evening he started with his screaming again.

Let me just explain something. I understand babies cry. I understand there is a thing called "Colic" (ie: we don't know). What Travis has is not normal baby fussiness. It's painful cries for hours and hours all throughout the day and nothing consoles him. He wakes up screaming in pain, falls asleep after tiring himself out from screaming in pain. It's not normal and we have had his pediatrician and a GI specialist both tell us that, "This isn't normal. This is excessive and we need to fix this so that it doesn't cause later problems."

Another 6 days of crying and I called his doctor, again. I think I've talked to her at least once a week for the last 8 weeks, I'm sure she's tired of hearing from us. She advised that at this point, we need to seek help with a Pediatric GI Specialist. On Tuesday, July 19 I took him to see this specialist and she had yet more "trial and error" ideas she wanted to practice on our son. She said that she *thinks* he has several severe food allergies and can't even be on the Alimentum formula. She switched him to a prescription formula that has completely broken down food proteins and should solve the problem. It's called Elecare and it's not exactly cheap. BUT we will pay whatever price we have to to fix our baby boy.

After just 2 bottles of Elecare Travis was worse. He was acting the same way he used to act when he was on breastmilk and it only got worse throughout the night. The next morning I called the Dr. again to see if this was normal... he was horrible. Screaming, tears and exhausting himself so much he wouldn't eat. When she called back, she said it was rare to have a reaction to that formula but to stop giving him that one and we'd switch to Neocate. Ugh. Switch again....

Right now we are going on day 4 of the amino-acid based prescription formula. There is a difference from when he was nursing, but there is no difference from when he was on the Alimentum formula. For both his pediatrician and the GI specialist, they said if there is no change with the formula then we are going to start running tests on him to see what it is. They've already ordered an ultrasound of his brain, (yes, this freaks me out) and they are going to do blood work and test his urine.

This hasn't been a fun journey by any means. I can't remember the last time I actually felt, happy or relaxed for that matter. It's been one thing after another and I just wish we could reach a solution. I am so tired of trial and error and I'm breaking down. I'm exhausted, only getting about 3-4 hours of sleep a night and barely any naps during the day since Travis will only sleep 20-30 minutes at a time. Of course, during that time I have to eat, shower or wash bottles <---not my favorite chore.

I'm not giving up, but I sure do feel like it times. I cry daily and my body is starting to physically hurt. I am so thankful that I have such a loving supportive husband who will listen to me when I'm a blubbering mess and an 11 year old son who is so understanding to the situation. He's even worried about Travis. We all are.

He finally just fell asleep so I am off to join him...

Where do I begin?

Today, Travis is 4 weeks old. Hard to believe that 4 weeks have already gone by since I gave birth to him. Everything went smoothly and Paul even got to catch him! He weighed 7lbs 7oz and was 21 inches long. At 2 weeks he was already up to 9lbs 3oz so I'm excited to see what he weighs at his Dr appt this coming Tuesday. It was an amazing and beautiful experience and hypnobirthing worked great :) I would definitely recommend it to anyone who is planning on a natural childbirth.

The last four weeks haven't been easy. We have had company most of the time and Travis has a very sensitive little tummy. I am breastfeeding and having to cut dairy, eggs and soy out of my diet. I can pretty much eat the same thing everyday: plain oatmeal for breakfast with some fruit, plain chicken or turkey with fruit and/or veggies for lunch and then the same thing for dinner. I never realized how many food items have dairy in them and how much dairy I actually eat! Same goes for soy... pretty much all processed foods/snacks have it in them and it's really made me even more aware and health conscience of what I put into my body. I think the biggest thing I miss is ice cream. Thankfully though, this new diet is working.

It's been pretty hot here this past week, up around 110 each day and still 90 degrees at 10 o'clock at night. We've still be trying to get out and go for walks, even though it's close to 100 it doesn't feel too bad because the sun is setting. Travis really likes the walks and loves to look around and take everything in. Now, if only we could get Joey to enjoy walks or even running for that matter...

Joey has had a good summer so far, he's had lots of sleepovers with friends, fun with family that was visiting and just plain ol down time. On Monday he will be flying to his dad's house for 3 weeks where I'm sure he'll stay busy and have a good time too. When he gets back, he and Paul are going on a father/son camping trip with a friend of Joey's to go play with airsoft guns in the woods and just sit around and be boys. That is still a month away and hopefully I've really got the hang of Travis by then and actually won't mind the weekend alone.

My time is up... Travis is hungry.

Almost time

It's been a while since my last post. So much has gone on over the last month, I wouldn't know where to start to catch up! Maternity photos, my aunt and uncle visiting, Mother's Day, football games, riding, 6th grade band concerts, D.A.R.E. graduation and good quality time with my boys. Now that all of that is out-of-the-way, little Honda is welcome to come any day.

I am 39 weeks, 4 days if you go by my original due date of May 29. This little guy is definitely NOT coming early as Joey did and I am ok with that. He will come when he's ready! I've been spending as much one on one time with Joey as possible and Paul and I have even been making sure to get our alone time in as well. Soon, it will be the four of us! Our maternity photo shoot came out fabulous!! There are so many photos to choose from, but we aren't going to order any until after Erin does the newborn photos. You can see a sneak peek of the shoot on her Facebook Page.

It's hard to believe there are only five days of school left for Joey. Why they don't just end this Friday is beyond me... Both him and Paul have a 3-day weekend ahead and will probably go riding again, pending Honda's arrival. They went out to the track together the other day and had a great time. I love seeing them do that, even though I'm jealous that I can't ride right now. Soon enough, I'll be back on my bike!

I have an appointment with my midwife this morning and am very anxious. I have been having so many Braxton Hick's contractions over the past month, and they are starting to get pretty intense at times. They just aren't making any progress! I guess I feed Honda too well, he's happy in there. (either that or he knows how hot it is outside).

Hopefully my next post will be my birth story....

[caption id="attachment_497" align="aligncenter" width="224" caption="My handsome little man & I at his band concert"][/caption]

To see more of Erin's photography, visit her website! She's AMAZING!!!

E L Hicks Photography