My husband & son are my world

I have been looking forward to writing and not getting critiqued all week. Homework has gotten the best of me and I now realize why not everyone has a college degree. It's not easy. I love my classes. They have been great so far, it's just a lot of work. I'm starting to get frustrated in math, as some things aren't making sense. Since I'm such a critical thinker, I constantly ask the question, "why?". Of course Paul tells me, "Just because, that's why. It's math, just learn it and move on." I'm having a hard time accepting that.

I don't know what I would do without him and Joey in my life. They have been my support and strength for the past couple of days. I love them more than I can ever express to them.

Enough about that. This week has gone by super fast and I don't even know where to begin. Saturday night was a blast with our new friends and I think I really do love the sport of arena football! It was so exciting throughout the whole game and the best part was the team we were rooting for (which would be the Rattlers), WON! I can't wait to go to another game. On Wednesday Joey and I went to the movies to see "Killers". It was so cute, not to mention had two of my favorite handsome male actors in it. Ashton Kutcher and Tom Selleck. I'm sure Joey would have rather seen Shrek, but Killers was better than Letters to Juliet right?

I'm no longer blonde. Well, sort of. For the last year and a half my hairdresser has been doing my hair blonde, per my request. This last time I had it done, (in April) I loved it, but have developed a feeling for change. When she first started doing my hair in December 2008, it was pretty dark with just some blonde highlights throughout the top. I loved how it was then and after looking at some old photos decided to go back to that...She came over and did it yesterday and I absolutely LOVE it!

My fingers hurt. From typing and it's time to jump in the pool......

Taking a break.

When I enrolled in my college classes I really didn't know what to expect. I knew there would be a lot of assignments and I'd be taking tests somehow over the internet but really had no idea what I was signing up for. All three of my classes started today, even though I've already been working on homework since last Friday. I'm taking ENG101, PSY101 and MAT092 all through the community college. English and Psychology will be over in the first week of July while Math is lasting until July 20. The workload over the next 5 weeks is insane but nothing I can't accomplish.

I am a very organized and detail oriented person. Paying close attention to making sure everything is "Perfect" aka, a perfectionist or Type A personality. I never really thought of myself this way until going through the hiring process to become a 911 dispatcher back in 2006. After the testing process, polygraph and session with the psychologist I learned a lot about myself.  Personality type being the main thing. I never viewed myself this way until it was pointed out to me, even then I disagreed.  It wasn't until he had pointed out that I had 4.0gpa in highschool that made me realize, he was right.

So far, I've spent the last few days working on all three subjects, getting comfortable with the syllabus and making sure I read the fine print about what each instructor wants. I've turned in a couple of assignments and am on the ball. I'm enjoying it! A lot of work, but it will all pay off in the end.  I feel very confident that I will do well in these courses and am excited for what comes next. I'm already looking into the 2nd summer session to see what other courses I can knock out before the fall. It will be challenging and rewarding all at the same time.

This past weekend was amazing. I not only spent time working on assignments but had a lot of good quality time with Paul & Joey. They are truly the loves of my life and I couldn't ask for anything more. Joey is changing every day and growing up more and more. He's really coming out of his shell and what gets me the most are those moments when he looks at me and says, "Mom, I love you." There is nothing better than a hug and a kiss every night after I read to him. Paul and him were so good to me this weekend, giving me the break I needed. They did the dishes, helped cook dinner and even helped me out with some of the algebra I needed help with.

Next weekend should be a great one too... Joey's teacher (whom I can now be friends with since tomorrow is the last day of school) text'd me yesterday and asked if Paul and I would like to join her and her friend Mike for an arena football game this weekend. Of course! I've never been to one of those, but sounds like fun. Her sister will come over again to "joey-sit" Joe and he's pretty excited. (he really likes her). The summer is already looking like it's going to be a good one. We have a few different things planned and it's all something to look forward to.

Back to work... I have a Chapter test to take for Algebra...

Absent.

I haven't felt like writing much this week. Maybe it's the anticipation that I will be writing a lot over the next four weeks? My English class starts on June 1 and it only goes until July 1. I believe it says there will be 4 or more papers due comprising 4000 words or more? Fun! Not only will I have that, but also my Algebra class and Psychology 101. I've been reading through my books already and I'm getting really antsy and excited for it all to start.

The weather is beautiful. I still don't have the AC on. Yes, it gets up to about 85 in the house, but it's 78 by morning. We can manage, just don't sleep with any clothes on and it's comfortable. Joey only has 3 days of school left. I can't believe my little angel is going to be a 6th grader, so soon.... where has time gone?

I've intensified my workouts this week and I am noticing a difference. I have so much more energy, but my muscles are more sore. I'm also so HUNGRY! I thought that my protein shakes would help, but my goodness today, I just can't satisfy my hunger.

See, I said I don't feel like writing and I don't. This blog was almost a waste of a post? Nah....

Pretty excited!

I never really thought that I would be excited about going to school, but I am. Things are coming along nicely and the more I think of my future, the more excited I get!

Yesterday I went and took the math placement test and scored exactly where I thought I'd score. I hate math but I want to learn. I did pretty well for not doing any algebra for the last 16 years and will be pretty much starting out where I left off at the wise age of 14. My first class is Introduction to Algebra and I'm excited that I have a live in tutor. Paul has already been working with me on basic steps and I'm excited to learn all of the stuff that long ago I thought I'd never need to know.

Today, I went and took my English placement test. I really wasn't sure how I'd score. Of course, having the type A personality that I have, I want to be perfect and do things the best that I can. So, naturally, in my favorite subject I scored the highest I could and can even take the Honors English class if I want to. *Giving myself a pat on the back*

Things are starting to fall into place and I'm excited to start learning again.

As far as other things going on in my life this week, I've dropped 2 more pounds and have started running. Well, jogging I guess. What do you call it when you average a speed of 5.9mph?? Is that running?? I've successfully completed two miles without stopping two nights in a row. On top of my morning workout, adding a run as my evening workout has given me that much more motivation. I love it and it's my addiction!

The summer heat is creeping up on us and I will soon have to turn on the AC. I'm not looking forward to that part of it, because I know that once it's on, it'll be on through the next 3-4 months. We haven't yet hit that 100 degree mark and I am wondering if today will be the day? It's pretty warm out there...

One is sliver and the other's gold...

When you find a friend that you absolutely click with, you keep them. They make you smile at the mere thought of them and the sound of their voice gives you butterflies. A good friend doesn't judge or belittle you, rather gives you support and an open ear when you need it.

My friends are my support. I can count them on one hand. They have never turned their back on me, no matter how I've treated them and they would never make rude comments to me to make themselves feel better. Over the last few years particularly I've spent a lot of time observing people, family members, friends, acquaintances. I'm finding out more and more who is really there for me and who just "says" they are there for me.

Moving to Arizona was a very hard decision. When I was faced with the decision, it came down to two different outcomes. Either, I move to Arizona with my husband and my son and we try to make a new life or I divorce my husband and stay in California working as a 911 Dispatcher. Of course, I chose the first outcome and I am happy with my decision. However hard it has been leaving family and friends behind, the move as a whole was for the better.

Since living here, I have made a couple of new friends, reconnected with old friends and even reconnected with friends from my past. It feels good, and I am happy with where I am at. I do miss my girls though. My girls that leave me feeling good after a chat on the phone, or a good glass of wine. My girls that I could be my complete self around and not worry about them judging me.  Why do we have to be so spread out across the continent and beyond?

Life.

It's all a journey and during the journey we take different paths. Each of the paths I have been down have been in different states. Hawaii, Virginia, California and now Arizona. Each of those places I have met different people kept some while others were lost. I am happy with those that have stayed in my life, and occasionally hurt from those that have been lost.

The point I am trying to make, while rambling all over the place (which is not new for me), is that when you find someone you love and feel a connection with, don't take that for granted. Love them the way they love you, don't ever judge and always be the shoulder to cry on when they need it most. Don't put them down, you'll only end up losing them in the end. Don't make cowardly snipes at them only to feel better for yourself, step back and put someone else's feelings first for once. Maybe then, you'll realize who your true friends are and what they mean to you.

This will forever be the song in my head,

Make new friends, but keep the old... one is sliver and the other's gold.