Thursday, February 18, 2010

The sun is calling my name

I'm sitting here today at my desk trying to relax. I have had a roller coaster of a week and I'm trying to find my happy place. Paul is at work, Joey is at school, the cats are sleeping and I've just finished my daily coffee.  My house is cleaned and the laundry is done so today is my day. I am certain that after I write I'm going to go sit in my backyard, in the sun, next to the pool with the latest book I'm reading.

Last weekend was good. We ended up going to Yuma for a relaxing visit with our friends. We rode our dirtbikes for most of the day on Saturday and then enjoyed a delicious sushi dinner at Ah So that night. Sunday morning we got up and went to coffee, grabbed some breakfast burritos and went to a beautiful park that was nestled right up against the Colorado River. Very nice relaxing day that reminded me of my childhood. Growing up, my family often went to a park and played in the warm sun.

Joey didn't have school on Monday and he treated me to a movie date. Originally we were going to see "The Tooth Fairy" (not my choice) but it was sold out. (Thank goodness!) I really wanted to see the movie "Valentine's Day" so he decided that we could watch that one. I believe he regretted that decision later. He said he really didn't like it because it was too mushy. I, on the other hand, loved it. It had a great meaning and not to mention a great cast of actors.

Tuesday.  My least favorite day of this week. I've known for a while now that RC would be coming here to visit with Joey. He's going to be going to Afghanistan in March and said he wanted to see Joey before he goes. I really didn't want Joey missing school so I told him that he would have to come here if he wanted to see him and that Joey would still have to go to school while he is here. When he showed up at the house Joey was very excited to get to see him. He was ready to get out the door and I believe that it's because he didn't really want his dad and I in the same room for very long. He doesn't quite understand that we won't fight in front of him anymore. Yes, we fight on the phone but Joey doesn't know that. I can bite my tongue and be cordial with him, to an extent.

He makes my skin crawl. Not in a good way either. The things he put me through during our marriage were horrible and I will probably never forget them. I am so fortunate to have found a man now that would never even dream of doing the things that RC did. He is remarried and I feel so sorry for his new wife. She probably doesn't even really know who he is, yet and I hope that someday she learns. I wonder if she knows that he is  here and not wearing his wedding ring? Really, some people never change.

It's been really difficult for me to step aside and let someone else take over my responsibilities. Normally when Joey sees his dad he flies to wherever his dad is living and stays for about 2 weeks. This time, since his dad is here, he is the one taking Joey to school and picking him up. I wonder if he makes sure he brushes his teeth and puts his deodorant on before school? Did he make sure Joey has a snack? A good breakfast? It would be easy for me to trust Paul with those morning tasks, but RC? Again, biting my tongue.

The last two nights Paul and I have gone out to a new restaurant/bar. It's been a very fun experience and we've had a lot of good laughs and conversations. It was some much needed couple time and I can't wait to have a little more over the next few nights! It is very therapeutic.

It's almost noon and I can hear the ducks on the lake in the backyard. I think that's my sign to go outside and relax, enjoy the sun on my face and think of all the good things to come. I love springtime weather in Arizona.

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