Absent.

I haven't felt like writing much this week. Maybe it's the anticipation that I will be writing a lot over the next four weeks? My English class starts on June 1 and it only goes until July 1. I believe it says there will be 4 or more papers due comprising 4000 words or more? Fun! Not only will I have that, but also my Algebra class and Psychology 101. I've been reading through my books already and I'm getting really antsy and excited for it all to start.

The weather is beautiful. I still don't have the AC on. Yes, it gets up to about 85 in the house, but it's 78 by morning. We can manage, just don't sleep with any clothes on and it's comfortable. Joey only has 3 days of school left. I can't believe my little angel is going to be a 6th grader, so soon.... where has time gone?

I've intensified my workouts this week and I am noticing a difference. I have so much more energy, but my muscles are more sore. I'm also so HUNGRY! I thought that my protein shakes would help, but my goodness today, I just can't satisfy my hunger.

See, I said I don't feel like writing and I don't. This blog was almost a waste of a post? Nah....

Pretty excited!

I never really thought that I would be excited about going to school, but I am. Things are coming along nicely and the more I think of my future, the more excited I get!

Yesterday I went and took the math placement test and scored exactly where I thought I'd score. I hate math but I want to learn. I did pretty well for not doing any algebra for the last 16 years and will be pretty much starting out where I left off at the wise age of 14. My first class is Introduction to Algebra and I'm excited that I have a live in tutor. Paul has already been working with me on basic steps and I'm excited to learn all of the stuff that long ago I thought I'd never need to know.

Today, I went and took my English placement test. I really wasn't sure how I'd score. Of course, having the type A personality that I have, I want to be perfect and do things the best that I can. So, naturally, in my favorite subject I scored the highest I could and can even take the Honors English class if I want to. *Giving myself a pat on the back*

Things are starting to fall into place and I'm excited to start learning again.

As far as other things going on in my life this week, I've dropped 2 more pounds and have started running. Well, jogging I guess. What do you call it when you average a speed of 5.9mph?? Is that running?? I've successfully completed two miles without stopping two nights in a row. On top of my morning workout, adding a run as my evening workout has given me that much more motivation. I love it and it's my addiction!

The summer heat is creeping up on us and I will soon have to turn on the AC. I'm not looking forward to that part of it, because I know that once it's on, it'll be on through the next 3-4 months. We haven't yet hit that 100 degree mark and I am wondering if today will be the day? It's pretty warm out there...

One is sliver and the other's gold...

When you find a friend that you absolutely click with, you keep them. They make you smile at the mere thought of them and the sound of their voice gives you butterflies. A good friend doesn't judge or belittle you, rather gives you support and an open ear when you need it.

My friends are my support. I can count them on one hand. They have never turned their back on me, no matter how I've treated them and they would never make rude comments to me to make themselves feel better. Over the last few years particularly I've spent a lot of time observing people, family members, friends, acquaintances. I'm finding out more and more who is really there for me and who just "says" they are there for me.

Moving to Arizona was a very hard decision. When I was faced with the decision, it came down to two different outcomes. Either, I move to Arizona with my husband and my son and we try to make a new life or I divorce my husband and stay in California working as a 911 Dispatcher. Of course, I chose the first outcome and I am happy with my decision. However hard it has been leaving family and friends behind, the move as a whole was for the better.

Since living here, I have made a couple of new friends, reconnected with old friends and even reconnected with friends from my past. It feels good, and I am happy with where I am at. I do miss my girls though. My girls that leave me feeling good after a chat on the phone, or a good glass of wine. My girls that I could be my complete self around and not worry about them judging me.  Why do we have to be so spread out across the continent and beyond?

Life.

It's all a journey and during the journey we take different paths. Each of the paths I have been down have been in different states. Hawaii, Virginia, California and now Arizona. Each of those places I have met different people kept some while others were lost. I am happy with those that have stayed in my life, and occasionally hurt from those that have been lost.

The point I am trying to make, while rambling all over the place (which is not new for me), is that when you find someone you love and feel a connection with, don't take that for granted. Love them the way they love you, don't ever judge and always be the shoulder to cry on when they need it most. Don't put them down, you'll only end up losing them in the end. Don't make cowardly snipes at them only to feel better for yourself, step back and put someone else's feelings first for once. Maybe then, you'll realize who your true friends are and what they mean to you.

This will forever be the song in my head,

Make new friends, but keep the old... one is sliver and the other's gold.

Quotes

I love quotes. I read them all the time, whether it's on my iPhone or on the web. Some of my favorites always lead back to Marilyn Monroe and I wanted to put a few in my blog to share.

These are just a few of my favorites:

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love."

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."

"Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn't that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you."

Just a few that I read on an almost daily basis. She said it so well!

Living life

Goals in life never get accomplished by talking about them, thinking about them or even dreaming about them. Get out there and do what you love, be who you are and live with no regrets. What's the worst that could happen? You can't live life in fear of rejection, being let down or not winning. Simply applying yourself to something has already made you a winner.

Get out there and life life! Choose to be positive and make healthy choices! I have learned so much by living under these rules. It's definitely paying off in life and love.

Be patient with your loved ones, stand your ground with your friends and don't use words that hurt. I read this quote today and I'm not sure who wrote it or where it came from, but it is so true : "A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future and accepts you just the way you are." My friends are my support and I turn to them when I need to. I'm so thankful to have them in my life. I choose who I want in my life and so far I've made good choices!

I'm so excited for new things on the horizon, I can't wait to share them!

Comparing colleges

I have finally narrowed it down to a field I'd like to study. This week I am meeting with someone from each of the two colleges that I am looking at and hopefully good will come from it. One definitely is already looking better from my point of view because of the degree being transferable. I am also hoping that after I learn a little more about the program it sparks my interest even more.

I don't have many questions, although I know I should have more. My biggest concerns are:

-Cost??

-Is the Associates Degree going to be transferable to a university so that I can go for my BS?

Pretty much all of my other questions have been answered by the voice on the other end of the telephone or by reading the handy dandy website.

I hoping that as the week progresses I get more excited and I actually can act upon it. I'm not sharing the field until I know it's really what I want. Until then, you'll have to live in suspense!

Choosing to be positive

The months leading up to turning the grand age of 30 were difficult for me. I was feeling old and didn't know where I wanted to go with my life. I was over analyzing everything and constantly trying to discover what I wanted to be when I "grew up". Actually turning 30 was a whole life changing event for me. I chose to be positive and live a healthy lifestyle.

Since February I have learned more about myself while NOT looking then I did during the years of trying to find myself. I have stepped back and let life blossom around me and it feels so amazing. I'm eating differently and trying new things I swore I'd never eat, (still not going to eat fungus though) and working on my cooking abilities. Thank goodness Paul and Joey don't mind a grilled cheese or Turkey BLT when my meal doesn't turn out quite like it should have. I have found that being a mom and wife is definitely my dream job. While I may not be able to be a stay at home mom forever, for the time being it's definitely my calling. I am so happy!

I wake up every day choosing to live positively. I wake up with a smile, work out, have breakfast with Joey all while enjoying life and it's blessings of health and happiness. So many people around me talk about changing their eating habits and exercising more but I've really come to find that talking about it never gets you anywhere. I wish so bad that they could see the happiness I am experiencing and know that if they lost the weight they have been trying to lose for 15 years, they too would be happy.

Joey brought home his 4th quarter progress report last night and I am so proud of him. He has really started to shine towards the end of 5th grade and I think it's only going to get better. I love seeing his face light up as he watches the excitement in my eyes while reading his grades. I am so proud of him and I know that he is progressing so much because of the love that Paul and I give him. It is truly a great feeling.

I'm tossing around some new ideas this week for different pages of my blog. Possibly a food log of new recipes I try or maybe even a detailed menu and workout for others to follow to see the same results I am seeing. Not sure how it will all work out, but it's just a thought I had while vacuuming this morning.

I am so thrilled for the next couple months and the events they hold! So many great things are happening and I know it's because I am making them happen. I am choosing to be positive!