Life & Death.

Last week was a happy but also sad week. On Monday, April 18, 2011 at 4:02pm our nephew Tyler was born. He weighed 8lbs 15oz and was 22 inches long! Way to go momma for pushing that big baby out! That's almost 9 pounds!!! He's adorable and I think he has his daddy's nose and the rest of him looks like his momma. We'll see as he gets older.

As the week went on, an angel got it's wings. I had a very tough time dealing with the news of a long time friend passing away and while it's still very difficult for me to talk about it, I am doing better. I've known James since I was about 6 or 7. He is the younger brother of my best friend Jenni and while we haven't really been in touch over the past few years, he is a huge part of my childhood and most of my memories from growing up, involve him. He died suddenly on Wednesday afternoon from a pulmonary embolism, blood clot. It is so tragic and I am so heartbroken as he was younger than me. I can't imagine the hurt that my "other family" (as they have always been called) are going through, not to mention his fiance. I really can't talk much more about it right now...

[caption id="attachment_481" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="James, Jenni & I, summertime '93 or '94"][/caption]

Pregnancy wise, I am feeling pretty good. I've had a few spells of exhaustion over the last couple days. It just sneaks up on me out of no where, and because I do know what it will be like when the baby comes, I take the chance to sleep. I take naps and I don't push myself, hoping to rest of up for the big day, whenever that may be. Hard to believe it will be sometime in the next month. There is no waiting much longer, he is coming, and he is coming soon! I've still been walking quite a bit, trying to get out there at least once a day and sometimes even twice. (Daily Mile) Since this is my 2nd pregnancy, I do know how important walking is to help before, during and after labor. I am still having several contractions a day, and even some that wake me in the night. Nothing is regular though, so I know it's just practice. My uterus is warming up for the big day! This coming Sunday we have our maternity photo shoot and I can't wait to see how they come out!

Joey has been doing well, hard to believe that 6th grade is almost over. My little baby won't be such a little baby anymore going into 7th grade! He's been doing his part around the house a bit more too, helping us in the yard and helping with his chores before I have to ask him, sometimes. He's such a great kid and I love him more than I can even describe. I just feel so bad for him sometimes because his dad has recently let him down. He doesn't say much about it, but you can see it all over his face and hear it in his voice every day when he checks the mail for a package his dad originally told him he mailed weeks ago. I just keep a big smile and tell him, "I'm sure it will be here soon," while my heart breaks inside for him.

This month has really flown by, and in just a few days it will be May. So hard to believe that I have been pregnant for 8 months, it goes so fast! Before we know it, he'll be walking!

Mercy Gilbert Tour

Last night Paul and I went for our tour of the Family Birthing Center at Mercy Gilbert Medical Center. I had been looking forward to this day for months. Every time we go to my prenatal appointments, which is just a block away, we see the hospital and it's so beautiful from the outside, I always wondered what it would be like on the inside.  It was so beautiful and didn't even feel like a hospital. It felt more like we were walking into a mall or beautiful hotel.



It was so fun to gather in the lobby on the 3rd floor where the family birthing center is located, seeing all of the different shapes and sizes of pregnant bellies. Some mom's weren't due until June and July, and then myself and one other due next month in May. Everyone there had their significant other with them and due to the RSV season, no children under 12 years old were allowed to come on the tour. In my opinion, they don't need to be there anyways.

We first talked about what we'd do when I do in fact go in to labor. Of course Paul will take me through the ER where they will assist me if needed to the 3rd floor and settle me into triage. In triage they will check me and monitor me to see if I am in fact in labor and if so, we'll get transferred to the Labor & Delivery room. The room was huge and very welcoming. It comes equipped with a 32" flat screen TV (not sure I'd be using that while in labor) and a nice pull out bed for Paul if he needs it. I will have my own private shower/restroom and in case I feel like getting on the internet, there is wifi! -I thought this was entertaining as the tour guide made a big deal out having wifi and that it's ok to bring your iphone, ipod, i-whatever.

We will stay in this room for the length of my labor and then little Honda will be delivered in that room too. Once he is delivered, I am able to postpone the Apgar testing for 30 minutes so that we can bond with him and get him nursing right away. I am very happy that they are open to this, as some hospitals whisk the baby away in those first moments that are so important. After being in the L&D room for two hours after delivery we will be moved to our postpartum room where we will stay for the remainder of our hospital visit. The coolest thing about the postpartum room is that it's all wired for Skype! There is a little camera mounted up in the corner of the room (it is adjustable) and it's connected with the large flat screen. We will be able to log in to our Skype account and talk with our parents, family and friends back in California. It will be like they are coming to visit us in the room.

I can't believe this is all just around the corner. I am in my 34th week of pregnancy and am starting to get really excited to meet this little guy. I have been bonding with him a lot, singing to him, reading to him, and talking to him all of the time. Now we just wait and see when he wants to make his grand entrance!

April is here.

It is hard to believe that I will be 32 weeks pregnant on Sunday. It still feels like it was just yesterday that I peed on a stick and it showed that little plus sign. This week marks the first week that I feel very pregnant. It all seemed to hit me at once, the fatigue, the hot flashes, worsening leg cramps, discomfort at night while trying to sleep and of course, my appetite has sort of gone away as I have no room to put in any food. Little Honda likes to keep his feet nestled nice and cozy in my ribs with the occasional punch to my bladder. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world though, as uncomfortable as it may be some times I truly love being pregnant.

Joey is back and we are back to normal around the house. Football has resumed and he's been doing his chores without me having to ask. He brought his report card home on Wednesday and we are very proud of him. All B's and one A. Much better than his last report card. It will be great if he can bring them all back up and get straight A's for his last quarter of 6th grade.

We've been looking for a new dirt bike for Joey for about a month now, and most of the ones we go and look at look nothing like the photos that people have posted of it on craigslist. It's like they know how to take the photos so the bike looks great, we drive out to the boonies and it's a piece of crap. Paul was fortunate enough to find a bike this week that looked exceptionally clean and as we drove 45 minutes north/west, we hoped that it really was what he said it was and what it looked like in the photos. It turned out to be everything that it appeared to be and MORE! We got such a great deal, on a newer bike and he threw in a brand new paddle tire, and pretty much everything else he had for the bike, as he didn't need any of it anymore. Joey is so excited and I can't wait to see him ride it!

We have company coming today, a friend I've known since 1st grade along with her husband and 18 month old little girl. She is coming for my baby shower that she is throwing tomorrow and I can't wait!!! It means so much to me that she is flying out here to visit us and host my shower. I think there are about 10 people coming, so it should be perfect. Only thing that isn't so perfect is it's supposed to be 96 degrees tomorrow.... good thing it's a "dry heat"

Off to do laundry and other miscellaneous chores that need to be done before the weekend. Its only 8:30 and I'm already exhausted...

Placenta Previa, BE GONE!

We had been patiently waiting for yesterday's doctor appointment for four weeks now. Thank goodness now that I am 24 weeks I didn't have to drink 32oz of water and hold it. I was able to go to the ultrasound appointment comfortably!

We didn't have to wait too long in the waiting room for the U/S tech. Name was called, we went in and I climbed on the table and got my belly ready. I was eager to see my little guy up on the monitor as I know Joey and Paul were too. It wasn't long before we saw him appear, relaxed with his hands behind his head (his usual position) enjoying his nice warm home. It's amazing that even though babies look like little aliens in an U/S they are still cute as can be. He was squirming around a little, but not too much. The tech was able to get all of his measurements accurately and even confirmed that, yes, he is still a boy.

The best news of all come next... "Your placenta has moved up and out-of-the-way." I instantly had chills and of course, shed a few tears of excitement. All of my worrying and wondering was gone and I received the positive outcome I prayed for. Now I could continue on with my pregnancy without limitations. I can continue doing all of the things I was doing before (yes, that too!!) and am able to start working out again. I am going to take it easy though, since it has been a month and I do notice I get winded much quicker.

Met with my midwife again and she gave me even more good news! She hired an assistant midwife, from England, to help out with all of her new moms. At this point, my midwife Joyce, is off Wed-Fri so if I was to go into labor during those days, whatever OB that's on duty would deliver for me. At least now, I can get to know Belinda (the other midwife) and no matter what day of the week I will still get to utilize a midwife!! Totally good news...

I'm all over the place, so excited and eager for the coming months. I am so thankful that my body worked out it's issues and I won't be needing surgery or having to be on pelvic rest any longer. Now I can focus on my continued health and enjoy my pregnancy!

I think I need some lunch.

Thoughts and fears

I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that my only choice for delivery may be a c-section. The number one thing that matters is that I have a healthy baby boy in my arms, but how he gets here has always been something I took for granted.

I gave birth to Joey completely natural, almost 12 years ago. Even when I was 19, I felt strongly about natural, drug free births and the thought never crossed my mind that I would have to have a c-section. Now, going into this pregnancy the thought never crossed my mind either. From the moment that we started talking about trying to get pregnant, I had talked with my husband about my birthing beliefs. It's so hard for me to accept the possibility and I'm just not sure how to "get over it" and just accept reality. Millions of women go through the surgery method of birth and they recover just fine, as do their babies. I just never thought I might be one of those women.

I'm not going to lie. I'm scared and terrified. I don't want an epidural. It terrifies me to think of someone putting a needle in my already screwed up spine. I don't want to have dr's cut open my abdomen to remove the baby, I want him to come when he's ready and the natural way, so I can hold him and nurse him as soon as possible. I understand that if my condition doesn't get better, it's very dangerous to both me and baby if I was to try a vaginal delivery but I'm just praying that my condition gets better and I don't even have to worry about all of this crap! February 7 can't get here soon enough.

I've gained 12 pounds since the day I tested positive. I'm 21 weeks, 5 days and to me that seems like a lot of weight. I know that it's normal, and I'm going to gain weight but I'm sorry, no matter who you are, weight is weight and it's hard to swallow. I love seeing my growing belly, I just don't love seeing my growing butt. In the mirror it looks the same, but I can tell the difference when I try on certain clothes that fit me just two weeks ago... they are a little tight in the bottom area. My weight gain goal is 25 maybe 30 pounds. I'm hoping that I can stay on track and stay within those numbers especially if I do end up having to have a c-section, since I can't start exercising as soon after delivery.

I think the one thing I love more than anything is not just feeling little Honda move around but having Joey sit with his hand on my belly feeling his brothers little kicks and squirms. It truly is a happy mommy moment and I will never forget it. It's something that you can't ever get back so I'm enjoying every second of it. I'm not trying to hide my belly either, now that it actually looks like a pregnant belly and not just a beer belly and I really can't imagine what it's going to look like in another 12 weeks or even 15 weeks. It already seem so huge to me!!

Babies are a blessing and I am so thankful I am getting to experience all that motherhood brings. I may whine and complain but who doesn't? Deep down, I am thankful, compassionate and so happy to have another baby boy to call my own!