The year for finding myself.

I guess I can still consider myself lost. In a little over a month I'll be turning 30 and I still don't really know what I want to be when I grow up. Of course, there are dreams of acting and modeling but is that really attainable? Yes, I've thought of going back to dispatch (hate the idea) and I've also thought a little about going to school to become a nurse. Nothing really stands out to me and makes me feel like I want to chase after it as a life long career. I used to feel that way, and I no longer do.

So, I'm taking this time to really "find myself". Such an overused phrase that I thought I could use as well. When thinking about it I wonder though, what does it really mean to "find yourself"? I know who I am and what I look like, what I stand for, what makes me smile and what doesn't. The feeling I would like to have is being excited to get out of bed in the morning with the hopes of doing something aspiring. Something that makes my heart flutter, my palms sweaty and gets me a little giddy inside. That is what I am looking for. I have had a taste of it a few times in my past and I want it back. This time for good.

Turning over a new leaf, starting fresh with new secret goals on the horizon. No, not New Year's Resolutions (because I don't believe in setting unattainable goals) but new personal gratification goals. Things that deep down inside only I know about and know that when I accomplish it, it makes me happy.... I'm in high hopes that while doing this, I truly do, find myself.