Wrap yourself around me

I haven't been in much of a writing in my blog type of mood as of late...

The last two months have been somewhat of (yes another) blur. Days, nights, weeks, they all blend together with the same goal in mind. Feed Travis. Feed myself. Get Travis to sleep, shower, sleep, you get the point.

A couple weeks ago we hired a Newborn Care Specialist, after getting to the end of our rope, tired, annoyed, frustrated and plain mad. She came to our house, spoke with us about what we had been doing with Travis and how it was done all wrong, but we did it because it was really the only thing we could do to keep ourselves sane. She educated us on the importance of teaching good sleep skills early on and that if we teach him now, he'll forever keep the skill.

Things around the house are much better after working with her... no more middle of the night feedings and Travis is now napping in spurts longer than 30 minutes. Who would have though you could actually train your baby to sleep? The key? More sleep = More sleep. I've also started him on solids as of yesterday. So far, so good and no reaction other than a little bit more gas in the evening. Hopefully his little tummy can handle it and it doesn't create too much of a problem.

It's now December and almost time for Christmas. I haven't shopped one bit and frankly don't even want to. Joey is going to spend the holidays with his dad in Tennessee and it will be just Paul, Travis and I here in Arizona. Yes, of course, I am happy that it's Travis' first Christmas and all but really, it's about the photos. He's not going to remember it. He won't remember the presents he's given and he probably won't even care to open them. (he was given a present at Thanksgiving and he cried the whole time he was crinkling the paper. The sound maybe?) Call me Scrooge if you want, I'm just not in the mood. Maybe once we put up our tree this weekend, I'll change my mind. Maybe.

I'm ready for the new year. Again. I have personal goals for the year and I'm really excited to embark on a new journey.

Just go to sleep!!

Another month already half over and I still can't tell you what day it is. I'm lucky if I am getting 6 hours of sleep at night, (that's a lot considering the average is 4-5). I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and just plain going insane.

I've started running again to help me clear my mind and get me out of the house. Most of the time it works, but on those days that 1/2 mile into the 3 mile run Travis starts screaming, it's not so therapeutic. I am proud that I have worked up to a 3 mile run as my regular workout, just wish I could go longer. 3 miles takes me about 30 minutes and that's about all Travis is good for.

Travis is two weeks away from being 4 months old and still is a horrible sleeper. I tried to "sleep train" him but it only seemed to make matters worse, so I have gone back to just living by his schedule. Not great, but better than he was when I was trying to force him to sleep when and where he didn't want to.

He is growing like a weed and learning new things each day. He has happily discovered his feet and toes and likes to play with them any chance he gets. He still isn't rolling over but I like to blame that slow development on his horrible first two months. He has rolled over from belly to back a few times, but nothing regular.

Joey has two weeks left of this first quarter in Junior High, hard to believe. He's doing well so far. He has all A's and one B. I am hoping that he can maintain those grades for the next couple of weeks and then continue with that next quarter as well. I'm not sure if he's into girls or not yet, I'd like to say "not" but he's 12. Is he really going to tell his momma everything? I doubt it.

I'm tired, I want a break and I can't wait for my trip to California in a few weeks....

Really? September?

Looking at the calendar today, I can not believe that it's already September. Almost one year ago (this month) we were blessed with that little blue line on the pregnancy test. It started the journey that I never imagined. I have learned more about myself, my husband and my family than I ever thought I would.

I really wanted to blog about this journey a little bit more since Travis was born but his health issues have really tied my hands behind my back. I haven't been able to read, work out or even call to catch up with an old friend. BUT, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Travis is 3 months old now and doing much better than he was just a month ago. His food allergies are under control with Neocate and even though we are still working on getting his reflux under control, he's doing much better. He is still a horrible sleeper and hasn't developed any type of routine. He is sleeping about 11-13 hours in a 24hr time frame which to me doesn't seem like enough sleep for his age, but I guess it could be his "norm". I'm hoping to transition him into his room in the next week or so with hopes that he might sleep a little better at night.

In other news, I have started a 30 day challenge for myself. A few weeks ago I started running again but had to stop due to our lovely Arizona temperatures. Yesterday I started up again and am hoping to run at least 4-5 days a week and use my elliptical or go for a walk on the other days. I feel so much better when I am working out, I just haven't been able to get into any sort of work out routine with Travis and his temperament. It's only been two days and I can already feel the difference in my mood and my body.

Time for bed, Travis will be waking me in the wee early morning hours and I'm going to try and go to the track with the hoosband....

 

8 Weeks.

Travis is 8 weeks old today.

The last 8 weeks haven't gotten any easier, in fact, they have gotten harder. After cutting everything out of my diet, also called a "Total Elimination Diet" there was still no change in Travis and he actually had blood in his stool. His pediatrician diagnosed him with Allergic Colitis and suggested we switch him to formula. This decision was both very difficult for me and easy at the same time. Easy only because I didn't want to see my child suffer anymore as something I was eating was tearing up his insides. It was difficult because breastfeeding is something that is so important to me and I really wanted to be able to provide for him as I did for Joey.

After 5 days on Similac Alimentum formula he had an amazing day! Two of them in fact and his pediatrician did another stool test and it was already negative for blood. We actually thought things were looking up and the road we were on had come to an end. We were wrong. Late that evening he started with his screaming again.

Let me just explain something. I understand babies cry. I understand there is a thing called "Colic" (ie: we don't know). What Travis has is not normal baby fussiness. It's painful cries for hours and hours all throughout the day and nothing consoles him. He wakes up screaming in pain, falls asleep after tiring himself out from screaming in pain. It's not normal and we have had his pediatrician and a GI specialist both tell us that, "This isn't normal. This is excessive and we need to fix this so that it doesn't cause later problems."

Another 6 days of crying and I called his doctor, again. I think I've talked to her at least once a week for the last 8 weeks, I'm sure she's tired of hearing from us. She advised that at this point, we need to seek help with a Pediatric GI Specialist. On Tuesday, July 19 I took him to see this specialist and she had yet more "trial and error" ideas she wanted to practice on our son. She said that she *thinks* he has several severe food allergies and can't even be on the Alimentum formula. She switched him to a prescription formula that has completely broken down food proteins and should solve the problem. It's called Elecare and it's not exactly cheap. BUT we will pay whatever price we have to to fix our baby boy.

After just 2 bottles of Elecare Travis was worse. He was acting the same way he used to act when he was on breastmilk and it only got worse throughout the night. The next morning I called the Dr. again to see if this was normal... he was horrible. Screaming, tears and exhausting himself so much he wouldn't eat. When she called back, she said it was rare to have a reaction to that formula but to stop giving him that one and we'd switch to Neocate. Ugh. Switch again....

Right now we are going on day 4 of the amino-acid based prescription formula. There is a difference from when he was nursing, but there is no difference from when he was on the Alimentum formula. For both his pediatrician and the GI specialist, they said if there is no change with the formula then we are going to start running tests on him to see what it is. They've already ordered an ultrasound of his brain, (yes, this freaks me out) and they are going to do blood work and test his urine.

This hasn't been a fun journey by any means. I can't remember the last time I actually felt, happy or relaxed for that matter. It's been one thing after another and I just wish we could reach a solution. I am so tired of trial and error and I'm breaking down. I'm exhausted, only getting about 3-4 hours of sleep a night and barely any naps during the day since Travis will only sleep 20-30 minutes at a time. Of course, during that time I have to eat, shower or wash bottles <---not my favorite chore.

I'm not giving up, but I sure do feel like it times. I cry daily and my body is starting to physically hurt. I am so thankful that I have such a loving supportive husband who will listen to me when I'm a blubbering mess and an 11 year old son who is so understanding to the situation. He's even worried about Travis. We all are.

He finally just fell asleep so I am off to join him...

Where do I begin?

Today, Travis is 4 weeks old. Hard to believe that 4 weeks have already gone by since I gave birth to him. Everything went smoothly and Paul even got to catch him! He weighed 7lbs 7oz and was 21 inches long. At 2 weeks he was already up to 9lbs 3oz so I'm excited to see what he weighs at his Dr appt this coming Tuesday. It was an amazing and beautiful experience and hypnobirthing worked great :) I would definitely recommend it to anyone who is planning on a natural childbirth.

The last four weeks haven't been easy. We have had company most of the time and Travis has a very sensitive little tummy. I am breastfeeding and having to cut dairy, eggs and soy out of my diet. I can pretty much eat the same thing everyday: plain oatmeal for breakfast with some fruit, plain chicken or turkey with fruit and/or veggies for lunch and then the same thing for dinner. I never realized how many food items have dairy in them and how much dairy I actually eat! Same goes for soy... pretty much all processed foods/snacks have it in them and it's really made me even more aware and health conscience of what I put into my body. I think the biggest thing I miss is ice cream. Thankfully though, this new diet is working.

It's been pretty hot here this past week, up around 110 each day and still 90 degrees at 10 o'clock at night. We've still be trying to get out and go for walks, even though it's close to 100 it doesn't feel too bad because the sun is setting. Travis really likes the walks and loves to look around and take everything in. Now, if only we could get Joey to enjoy walks or even running for that matter...

Joey has had a good summer so far, he's had lots of sleepovers with friends, fun with family that was visiting and just plain ol down time. On Monday he will be flying to his dad's house for 3 weeks where I'm sure he'll stay busy and have a good time too. When he gets back, he and Paul are going on a father/son camping trip with a friend of Joey's to go play with airsoft guns in the woods and just sit around and be boys. That is still a month away and hopefully I've really got the hang of Travis by then and actually won't mind the weekend alone.

My time is up... Travis is hungry.

Almost time

It's been a while since my last post. So much has gone on over the last month, I wouldn't know where to start to catch up! Maternity photos, my aunt and uncle visiting, Mother's Day, football games, riding, 6th grade band concerts, D.A.R.E. graduation and good quality time with my boys. Now that all of that is out-of-the-way, little Honda is welcome to come any day.

I am 39 weeks, 4 days if you go by my original due date of May 29. This little guy is definitely NOT coming early as Joey did and I am ok with that. He will come when he's ready! I've been spending as much one on one time with Joey as possible and Paul and I have even been making sure to get our alone time in as well. Soon, it will be the four of us! Our maternity photo shoot came out fabulous!! There are so many photos to choose from, but we aren't going to order any until after Erin does the newborn photos. You can see a sneak peek of the shoot on her Facebook Page.

It's hard to believe there are only five days of school left for Joey. Why they don't just end this Friday is beyond me... Both him and Paul have a 3-day weekend ahead and will probably go riding again, pending Honda's arrival. They went out to the track together the other day and had a great time. I love seeing them do that, even though I'm jealous that I can't ride right now. Soon enough, I'll be back on my bike!

I have an appointment with my midwife this morning and am very anxious. I have been having so many Braxton Hick's contractions over the past month, and they are starting to get pretty intense at times. They just aren't making any progress! I guess I feed Honda too well, he's happy in there. (either that or he knows how hot it is outside).

Hopefully my next post will be my birth story....

[caption id="attachment_497" align="aligncenter" width="224" caption="My handsome little man & I at his band concert"][/caption]

To see more of Erin's photography, visit her website! She's AMAZING!!!

E L Hicks Photography 

Life & Death.

Last week was a happy but also sad week. On Monday, April 18, 2011 at 4:02pm our nephew Tyler was born. He weighed 8lbs 15oz and was 22 inches long! Way to go momma for pushing that big baby out! That's almost 9 pounds!!! He's adorable and I think he has his daddy's nose and the rest of him looks like his momma. We'll see as he gets older.

As the week went on, an angel got it's wings. I had a very tough time dealing with the news of a long time friend passing away and while it's still very difficult for me to talk about it, I am doing better. I've known James since I was about 6 or 7. He is the younger brother of my best friend Jenni and while we haven't really been in touch over the past few years, he is a huge part of my childhood and most of my memories from growing up, involve him. He died suddenly on Wednesday afternoon from a pulmonary embolism, blood clot. It is so tragic and I am so heartbroken as he was younger than me. I can't imagine the hurt that my "other family" (as they have always been called) are going through, not to mention his fiance. I really can't talk much more about it right now...

[caption id="attachment_481" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="James, Jenni & I, summertime '93 or '94"][/caption]

Pregnancy wise, I am feeling pretty good. I've had a few spells of exhaustion over the last couple days. It just sneaks up on me out of no where, and because I do know what it will be like when the baby comes, I take the chance to sleep. I take naps and I don't push myself, hoping to rest of up for the big day, whenever that may be. Hard to believe it will be sometime in the next month. There is no waiting much longer, he is coming, and he is coming soon! I've still been walking quite a bit, trying to get out there at least once a day and sometimes even twice. (Daily Mile) Since this is my 2nd pregnancy, I do know how important walking is to help before, during and after labor. I am still having several contractions a day, and even some that wake me in the night. Nothing is regular though, so I know it's just practice. My uterus is warming up for the big day! This coming Sunday we have our maternity photo shoot and I can't wait to see how they come out!

Joey has been doing well, hard to believe that 6th grade is almost over. My little baby won't be such a little baby anymore going into 7th grade! He's been doing his part around the house a bit more too, helping us in the yard and helping with his chores before I have to ask him, sometimes. He's such a great kid and I love him more than I can even describe. I just feel so bad for him sometimes because his dad has recently let him down. He doesn't say much about it, but you can see it all over his face and hear it in his voice every day when he checks the mail for a package his dad originally told him he mailed weeks ago. I just keep a big smile and tell him, "I'm sure it will be here soon," while my heart breaks inside for him.

This month has really flown by, and in just a few days it will be May. So hard to believe that I have been pregnant for 8 months, it goes so fast! Before we know it, he'll be walking!

34 weeks, 1 day

At 34 weeks pregnant I am feeling amazing. I don't have any swelling, my back is feeling fine and little Honda has moved out of my ribs and settled in nice and low.

I had an appointment with one of my midwives this morning and it went well. My blood pressure was normal (118/70) and my weight was, well, that I'm not going to say. Baby boy didn't want his heart rate taken, as he kept kicking the little Doppler thingee, but finally the nurse was able to catch that it was at a healthy 154. Belinda (midwife) had me lay down and she felt around to see about how big he is and she said he's just right for my physique. He's settled in nice and low, which is great news. Means he is getting ready for birth day! I've been having several Braxton Hicks daily among other "symptoms" that my body is showing, letting me know that my body is getting prepped and knows exactly what it's supposed to do.

Joey had a great football game on Saturday, they won 18-0. It was amazing to watch the boys play so well, especially since it was 95 degrees outside! Yesterday, we took the bikes to the track again (2nd weekend in a row) and it was so relaxing for me. I sat under the Easy-Up while Paul rode the big track and Joey rode the kids track. Days like that make me so happy and remind me of how blessed I am to live in such a great climate and have two wonderful boys who  love me!

Today, my sister-in-law is in labor. She was due a week ago on April 11 and finally little Ty has decided to make his way into the world. Her water broke early this morning so I am hoping that I will have a beautiful little nephew at some point today! He better not wait until tomorrow!! I'm ready to see his little face NOW!

Mercy Gilbert Tour

Last night Paul and I went for our tour of the Family Birthing Center at Mercy Gilbert Medical Center. I had been looking forward to this day for months. Every time we go to my prenatal appointments, which is just a block away, we see the hospital and it's so beautiful from the outside, I always wondered what it would be like on the inside.  It was so beautiful and didn't even feel like a hospital. It felt more like we were walking into a mall or beautiful hotel.



It was so fun to gather in the lobby on the 3rd floor where the family birthing center is located, seeing all of the different shapes and sizes of pregnant bellies. Some mom's weren't due until June and July, and then myself and one other due next month in May. Everyone there had their significant other with them and due to the RSV season, no children under 12 years old were allowed to come on the tour. In my opinion, they don't need to be there anyways.

We first talked about what we'd do when I do in fact go in to labor. Of course Paul will take me through the ER where they will assist me if needed to the 3rd floor and settle me into triage. In triage they will check me and monitor me to see if I am in fact in labor and if so, we'll get transferred to the Labor & Delivery room. The room was huge and very welcoming. It comes equipped with a 32" flat screen TV (not sure I'd be using that while in labor) and a nice pull out bed for Paul if he needs it. I will have my own private shower/restroom and in case I feel like getting on the internet, there is wifi! -I thought this was entertaining as the tour guide made a big deal out having wifi and that it's ok to bring your iphone, ipod, i-whatever.

We will stay in this room for the length of my labor and then little Honda will be delivered in that room too. Once he is delivered, I am able to postpone the Apgar testing for 30 minutes so that we can bond with him and get him nursing right away. I am very happy that they are open to this, as some hospitals whisk the baby away in those first moments that are so important. After being in the L&D room for two hours after delivery we will be moved to our postpartum room where we will stay for the remainder of our hospital visit. The coolest thing about the postpartum room is that it's all wired for Skype! There is a little camera mounted up in the corner of the room (it is adjustable) and it's connected with the large flat screen. We will be able to log in to our Skype account and talk with our parents, family and friends back in California. It will be like they are coming to visit us in the room.

I can't believe this is all just around the corner. I am in my 34th week of pregnancy and am starting to get really excited to meet this little guy. I have been bonding with him a lot, singing to him, reading to him, and talking to him all of the time. Now we just wait and see when he wants to make his grand entrance!

Acid Reflux & Leg Cramps

In a little over a month it will be a baby boy keeping me up at night, whereas now it's acid reflux and leg cramps. There isn't really a sure answer on why pregnant women get leg cramps during pregnancy but it's definitely one of the more uncomfortable side affects. Some nights are worse than others and I have yet to find out why I have the good nights. I am eating 2 bananas a day (on most days) and drinking at least 1 gallon of water. I'm still walking too, but for some reason I am haunted each night.

I had a bit of heartburn when I was pregnant with Joey, and a little bit of acid reflux but NEVER like I've experienced with this pregnancy. It haunts me any time of day, but the worst is at night, when I'm sleeping. It's not very pleasant to wake up choking because you have vomited in your mouth. As I'm running to the bathroom trying to spit it out everywhere, I wonder, what the heck brought it on this time?

Luckily I have learned that certain foods bring it on or if I eat too late before laying down to sleep. Most of the time I can control it but it's those off nights that it's just horrible.

Honda moves around a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean all of the time. He's a very active baby and I like to think it's because I have maintained such great health through this pregnancy and I eat pretty healthy with my share of veggies and fruits each day. We've also noticed that he moves a lot when there is music on with a good beat. He doesn't move so much when country music is on, but put a little bit of Pop on and he's jammin in there.

Joey has been doing well so far in the 4th quarter of school. He's had 1 football game for this spring season and Paul even took him riding this past weekend on his new dirt bike. He looks so great on it, it's the perfect size for him. We just need to get him more used to the clutch and the fact that it's a 2-stroke. He'll get the hang of it I'm sure.

The past few weeks have been busy, I had two baby showers and they were both a lot of fun. We have really gotten to know a lot of great people here and my family back home had a wonderful gathering for us via Skype.

Our hypnobirthing class is over now and I am really excited to use what I've learned. I already do in my day to day living and it's really helped in many ways. Tonight we are going to the hospital for our tour of "Labor & Delivery". I'm excited to see the rooms and see what kind of layout they have.

Time to go, someone is pushing on my bladder...

April is here.

It is hard to believe that I will be 32 weeks pregnant on Sunday. It still feels like it was just yesterday that I peed on a stick and it showed that little plus sign. This week marks the first week that I feel very pregnant. It all seemed to hit me at once, the fatigue, the hot flashes, worsening leg cramps, discomfort at night while trying to sleep and of course, my appetite has sort of gone away as I have no room to put in any food. Little Honda likes to keep his feet nestled nice and cozy in my ribs with the occasional punch to my bladder. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world though, as uncomfortable as it may be some times I truly love being pregnant.

Joey is back and we are back to normal around the house. Football has resumed and he's been doing his chores without me having to ask. He brought his report card home on Wednesday and we are very proud of him. All B's and one A. Much better than his last report card. It will be great if he can bring them all back up and get straight A's for his last quarter of 6th grade.

We've been looking for a new dirt bike for Joey for about a month now, and most of the ones we go and look at look nothing like the photos that people have posted of it on craigslist. It's like they know how to take the photos so the bike looks great, we drive out to the boonies and it's a piece of crap. Paul was fortunate enough to find a bike this week that looked exceptionally clean and as we drove 45 minutes north/west, we hoped that it really was what he said it was and what it looked like in the photos. It turned out to be everything that it appeared to be and MORE! We got such a great deal, on a newer bike and he threw in a brand new paddle tire, and pretty much everything else he had for the bike, as he didn't need any of it anymore. Joey is so excited and I can't wait to see him ride it!

We have company coming today, a friend I've known since 1st grade along with her husband and 18 month old little girl. She is coming for my baby shower that she is throwing tomorrow and I can't wait!!! It means so much to me that she is flying out here to visit us and host my shower. I think there are about 10 people coming, so it should be perfect. Only thing that isn't so perfect is it's supposed to be 96 degrees tomorrow.... good thing it's a "dry heat"

Off to do laundry and other miscellaneous chores that need to be done before the weekend. Its only 8:30 and I'm already exhausted...

What Babies Want

It looks like Wednesdays are becoming my new day to write. I've thought about writing on multiple occasions but I get busy and just don't sit down to do it. So, of course, when days pass I lose the train of thought, or whatever it is that happened doesn't seem so exciting to write about anymore.

This past weekend was a pretty amazing weekend spent alone with my hubby. Joey was missing from the picture, but as long as I keep reminding myself that he's having fun, I can get through it. Speaking of him missing from the picture, he also got out of cleaning up a large mess his friends left in the yard for us. Toilet Paper. Lots of it, and not the cheap stuff either!

Today, I am 30 weeks 3 days pregnant and I'm still feeling amazing. You hear and read all of these horror stories of pregnancy in the third trimester but maybe it's my healthy attitude and the fact that I'm still exercising that's not bringing me down to feel as so many women feel. But, on that note, I do still have two months to get through, and those months aren't going to be cool by any means. I'm sure come May 15 I'll have a different story to write about. We had another appointment on Monday and this appointment involved another ultrasound. We were pretty excited to see him again, but he definitely didn't want us to see his face. He had his arm covering his face the whole time as if saying, "hey, stop intruding." The ultrasound tech said that if he's born with a hickey on his arm, she wouldn't be surprised, as he was sucking away. Even though he didn't want to show us his face, he was definitely not shy about letting us know he is in fact, a boy.

Last night during our hypnobirthing class we watched a movie. It was a bit lengthy but overall, had a great theory and meaning behind it. It basically was a reminder that babies are alive from day one, inside the womb. They do feel pain and they do have feelings. They get scared and those first moments of life outside the womb can be so meaningful and have lifelong affects. We may not actually remember the moment we are born, but have you ever thought that maybe those first few days have a lot of influence of who you are today?

If you are interested, you can read more about the movie here:

What Babies Want

After watching this film, it left me thinking about what a huge responsibility having children is and it breaks my heart that so many bring children into this world and they don't take care of themselves or take into consideration their actions influencing the child tremendously. I know that not everyone has the same beliefs as me, but this isn't really a "belief". It's reality and it's LIFE!

 

Normally...

I tend to be on the cooler side which means I don't turn my AC on until the inside temperature of our house reaches close to 90. I like warm days, it means less clothes and the sun is shining. Kind of reminds me of Hawaii. This year will be different. Extremely different.

The temps have been in the 80's and I love it. Spring is probably my favorite time of year here in Arizona. Yesterday the temperature inside the house was 77 and it was just starting to get on the warm side. I'm not sure when I'll turn on the AC, but I was really hoping for two months of a really low electric bill from lack of heating/cooling. We'll see how long this lasts...

We had our 2nd hypnobirthing class last night and it went really well. I was having more trouble relaxing during some of the hypnosis exercises. I would be fine, but then my mind would drift and I'd listen to Paul's voice, but it'd make me giggle. All we have to do is practice.

Today is the fourth day that Joey has been gone. It's quiet around the house without him here and I miss him so much. I know that he's having fun with his dad, and getting his fill of video games (since he doesn't play them here). He'll be home in a week and a half and everything can return to normal. His eating habits, extra curricular habits and even his daily hugs he gives me. It really makes me sad to see all of his friends at the end of the street playing basketball, because I know he enjoys hanging out with them.

I am still feeling great. 29 weeks pregnant and I am still working out and eating healthy. It feels so good to not have any of the problems/complications that others I know have. I feel blessed and am so excited for the coming months! I really can't wait to hold this little guy and watch him sleep.

Our first Hypnobirthing class

Last night we started our Hypnobirthing class. It will last 5 weeks and each class is about 2 1/2 hours long. Luckily for us, the class is being held at our house, so we don't even need to go anywhere! There are four couples total, including us and the new people we met last night seem very nice. Two of us are pregnant with boys and the other two with girls. We are all due between May and July and it's funny to see the different shapes and sizes of all of our bellies!

I'm really excited to learn different relaxation techniques and apply them not only during child-birth but in my day-to-day living. So many people stress about unnecessary topics, things that are out of their control or even things that are in their control. They create the stress they are feeling. Our mind is so powerful and really you can overcome anything if you just relax.

It was interesting to feel baby boy move a lot last night when I had gotten into such a relaxed state. It was almost as if he could sense that relaxation and he more room to move around in the womb. The class is definitely going to bring a stronger bond within myself and Paul as well as with our unborn child who will be here before we know it.

I am such a strong believer of natural childbirth, without the unnecessary interventions and drugs that so many women resort to. It baffles me that some women are so unprepared for such an important day in their lives. I know that everyone is different, but why, after 9 months of eating healthy and not taking medications, does all of that go out the window on birth day? The pain is there, yes, but you can overcome that if you are strong enough to.

One aspect of this class will be learning how to release negative emotions. Unfortunately, for me, this will mean, releasing some people from our lives. I  know people who are constantly negative and bringing stress upon themselves and I just can't have those thoughts and worries with them. I'm going to continue surrounding myself and our family with positivity and release all of the fears.

This post has been kind of all over the place, and I thought about saving it and coming back to it later for editing. I have so many thoughts that I want to get out, but I think if I type them all, this post will break some sort of world record for it's length, so I'm going to leave it as a random babble. Because, well, that is my blog right? My inner babble...

I officially feel, pregnant.

I am now in my 28th week of pregnancy and I am definitely feeling it. The restless nights, ever expanding belly, leg cramps, acid reflux, among other things are keeping me feeling both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, even with all of the aches and pains. I may take longer to get up from the couch or sigh a little while trying to roll over in bed, but feeling those kicks and jabs from the little guy makes me forget all about the pain and reminds me of just how blessed I am to be carrying life inside of me.

For the last week, my in-laws have been visiting and even though we didn't do much, I am exhausted. I took today to collect myself, pick up the house, get the guest room cleaned up and ready for the next guests. I'm feeling as though I did in the first weeks of pregnancy though, tired, tired, tired.

While Paul's parents were here, we reassembled the cradle that my dad had built for Joey 12 years ago. Joey slept in it for the first couple of months, and it's been packed away ever since. This weekend we got it out, waxed it and put it in our room, ready for baby.



Along with getting the cradle set up and ready, my mother-in-law also helped me to get the crib set up. She purchased the crib for us a few weeks ago and then when she got here, we went shopping for the bedding that Paul had picked out. It's adorable and I have been spending some time in the nursery, imagining our sweet baby boy in his crib.



There are still a few things that need to be done to the room before it's complete, but his bed is ready for him.

We also got Joey's room all done up and nice while they were here. He now has the biggest of the three spare rooms and he seems to be loving it so far. We hung new pictures on his walls and he has been keeping his room a lot cleaner. Now if I can't just figure out what to do with the cats...

First, and hopefully last

The last five days or so have been pretty busy in our house. We have been rearranging rooms and organizing. Basically a similar game to musical chairs. Our house is a four bedroom house and of course, Paul and I have one room, Joey has another, the other two have been used as a guest room and office for the last two and a half years. Since baby is coming soon, we needed to make some changes.

What used to be the guest room is now Joey's room, and what was Joey's room is now the nursery, or at least on its way to looking like a nursery. The office and guest room are now combined and after trying to fit both my desk and the queen size bed in there we finally found the places for the puzzle. I personally think it looks great! Hopefully our company will be comfortable in their new room. The only concern I have is that my computer is in that room, so does that mean I can't go on my computer while we have company?

Of course I haven't moved any of the heavier furniture myself, but I have done my share of bending, sliding, pushing, trips up and down the hall making sure I am going through Joey's room as I am moving it. Monday night, something happened that I hoped never would and didn't expect it at all. I fell.

Paul was in the nursery with me, there is still a lot of Joey's stuff in there. Basically all of his belongings were in the middle of the room, so Paul could move the furniture and I could just rearrange book shelves. I went to take a step back and there was a large plastic tote on the floor (that Joey keeps his legos in) that I tripped on. I took about three stumbled steps (on the tote) before I fell to my tailbone and hit my head on the wall. Paul tried to catch me, but it was such an awkward fall that there was just no catching me...

It scared the crap out of me. I instantly was crying, from both the pain and being scared and my belly started tightening. Luckily, I fell on my back and not on my abdomen so baby is fine, it's just momma that's hurting pretty bad. I instantly felt like I had whip-lash and my back was instantly starting to hurt.

Two days later and I'm still pretty sore. I feel like I've felt in the past after a really bad snowboarding fall or something. I'm definitely going in to see my chiropractor today because I know I am all out of alignment. Sucks, because I just went last week and was feeling so in line!!

I know baby is fine, I'm not having any cramping, spotting or problems with the little guy and he was kicking up a storm last night and this morning. I'm sure he didn't even know what happened.

Joey's room is almost done and thankfully my in-laws are coming today (to stay for a week) so they can help me with the final touches and maybe even help set up the nursery!

Whirlwind of a week!

This past week is almost a bit of a blurrrrrr... but it's been an amazing blur. I've been working out every day since I was relieved from pelvic rest and it's amazing what it's done for my moods! I feel like a much better person and am feeling so healthy. I'm getting a big sore in the evenings, from carrying around the extra weight out front, but all in all, I feel fabulous!

It's hard to believe that my 31st birthday came and went. It didn't even really feel like a birthday this year, just another day. Although, I did get flowers from my honey and also from my friend April.

 


The cards that both of my boys gave to me were also very sweet along with those that I received on Valentine's Day yesterday. I am truly thankful and blessed that I have such wonderful men in my life. Even though I may bitch and complain about Paul's attitude sometimes or his cranky mood swings, I love him with all of my heart and am so happy to be married to my best friend.

Aside from celebrating my birthday, another winning game from Joey's football team and spending some time with our neighbors, I was able to relax a little this weekend and it felt wonderful.  We were also able to find a new mattress/box spring set for our guest room. We've had a full size bed in there for the past 2 1/2 years but after sleeping in a full size bed at my parents house, we learned that we should probably upgrade the guest bed to a queen. Especially knowing that our parents will be visiting more when the baby arrives. We want them to be comfortable! I put the full size bed on Craigslist and sold it in a day!

I am happy. So very happy.

Placenta Previa, BE GONE!

We had been patiently waiting for yesterday's doctor appointment for four weeks now. Thank goodness now that I am 24 weeks I didn't have to drink 32oz of water and hold it. I was able to go to the ultrasound appointment comfortably!

We didn't have to wait too long in the waiting room for the U/S tech. Name was called, we went in and I climbed on the table and got my belly ready. I was eager to see my little guy up on the monitor as I know Joey and Paul were too. It wasn't long before we saw him appear, relaxed with his hands behind his head (his usual position) enjoying his nice warm home. It's amazing that even though babies look like little aliens in an U/S they are still cute as can be. He was squirming around a little, but not too much. The tech was able to get all of his measurements accurately and even confirmed that, yes, he is still a boy.

The best news of all come next... "Your placenta has moved up and out-of-the-way." I instantly had chills and of course, shed a few tears of excitement. All of my worrying and wondering was gone and I received the positive outcome I prayed for. Now I could continue on with my pregnancy without limitations. I can continue doing all of the things I was doing before (yes, that too!!) and am able to start working out again. I am going to take it easy though, since it has been a month and I do notice I get winded much quicker.

Met with my midwife again and she gave me even more good news! She hired an assistant midwife, from England, to help out with all of her new moms. At this point, my midwife Joyce, is off Wed-Fri so if I was to go into labor during those days, whatever OB that's on duty would deliver for me. At least now, I can get to know Belinda (the other midwife) and no matter what day of the week I will still get to utilize a midwife!! Totally good news...

I'm all over the place, so excited and eager for the coming months. I am so thankful that my body worked out it's issues and I won't be needing surgery or having to be on pelvic rest any longer. Now I can focus on my continued health and enjoy my pregnancy!

I think I need some lunch.

No underwire, thank you.

As I have become more pregnant and my belly has turned into a basketball other things have grown too. Since I've had to stop working out I've noticed an unfortunate (but fixable) difference in my rear and hips. Up until about two months ago I was still wearing my ever so comfy and favorite Victoria's Secret bras but of course, like "regular" clothes, that had to come to an end.

I hadn't given much thought about actually buying a nursing bra until I absolutely needed to, but wearing a sports bra every day has been getting kind of old and I needed something that had more of a "bra" look to it. I didn't want to go to VS and just purchase the next size up because starting in May, I will be wearing nursing bras for at least the next year. What is the point on spending $45 on my favorite bra now, only to wear it three months and then possibly not even be able to wear it after breastfeeding for a year, I'm sure my size will change, again.

I started with Motherhood Maternity, hoping that since in the back of the store they have a huge wall of nothing but bras. I've stayed away from that wall, because well, I just didn't want to be shopping for that yet! When I went in, the annoying girl who always seems to be working when I'm there, was there. She decided she'd help me even though I didn't want any help. Her useless help obviously got me no where and instead of walking out of there with new $19 maternity/nursing bras, I walked out with a new pair of shorts. (in hopes that it will be warming up soon).

When I got home, I started texting all of my friends who have been recently pregnant and used nursing bras. Most of my friends don't/didn't nurse their babies so it was a tough one. One friend in particular, who thinks a lot like me and has a larger bust like me, was the one who hit the jackpot. She sent me the link of a bra on Nordstrom.com that she used during her whole year of nursing and said it was amazingly comfortable.

These bras come in so many different types, just as regular bras do. Underwire, no underwire, flap, no flap. While I have always worn bras with underwire for own personal preferences, going to a nursing bra, I find that I should NOT be wearing underwire. It's great now, but honestly it's the most uncomfortable thing imaginable. With a basketball under my shirt, having that underwire dig in is not something I want to experience day after day, not to mention it's not good for you to wear while nursing because it can cause your milk ducts to clog.

No underwire it is. Since I really didn't know how these bras felt I had to make a trip to Nordstrom. Of course, their website has several different bras and they only carry one in the store. Of course. I ask to try it on and they don't even have the accurate size that I need, but I was able to gauge which one to get based on the comfort of the two I tried on. This bra was like heaven. I could wear it 24 hours a day and be comfortable, so I ordered it and I can't wait for it to be here!

It's amazing though, how much we pay for comfort. Maternity bras that I tried on at Target and Motherhood were around $15-30 and so horribly uncomfortable. This one that I ended up purchasing from Nordstorm was a whopping $55!!! But... that's comfort. Not much more than I pay for a bra a VS and I'll be wearing it for at least a year so really it's not that bad!

Shopping for all things baby is fun, exciting, confusing,  and most of all expensive but it is so worth it!

Will he see his shadow?

February 1, means a few different things. One, in ten days I'm going to be another year older. Two, tomorrow is Groundhog day and our little fuzzy friend Phil is going to either see his shadow or not see his shadow. I am kind of hoping that he does see his shadow tomorrow, because ideally that means there will be six more weeks of winter and me being pregnant, sounds pretty nice.

When I  moved to Arizona in the fall of 2008 the weather was fantastic. Summer was nearing an end and I got to enjoy my first bit of Arizona fall weather. I was in love. Once the winter came, I fell even deeper in love and as spring crept up in 2009 I was completely head over heels in love with Arizona weather. I keep reading all of these posts on Facebook and Twitter about ice storms and snow and delayed or cancelled flights and it makes me so thankful to live in such a nice climate. Don't get me wrong, it's cold here too... I think tomorrow it's only supposed to be a high of 48 degrees temperatures dipping into the 20's for the next three nights. But, it's still sunny blue skies and that's what I need to see every day.

I'm not a person who could live in a place that is cloudy and gloomy all of the time. I need to see the rays of sunshine coming through my windows and that feeling of warmth when I walk outside even on the coldest days. The few summer months that are 100 degrees and warmer are so worth the weather we get the rest of the year.

I have always wondered what truth there actually is behind this whole groundhog and his shadow deal, especially since he's apparently been doing this for the last 125 years. Do groundhogs really live that long? I think not... Either way, it's a fun little yearly activity to look forward to. Here's to hoping he sees his shadow!

Virtual? Yes, please!

Another weekend came and went, faster than usual and packed with busy-ness. Movies, steak and potatoes, yummy desserts, football, supercross and my new recliner. All things that make a pregnant momma say, "ahhhh".

Saw "No Strings Attached" this weekend, starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman. Boy, do I ever still have a crush on Ashton. Not sure what it is, but that guy is such a cutie! Tall and handsome and played such a sweetheart in the movie. It was awfully predictable but really, what movie isn't? Definitely not a kids movie, with the crude humor and lines that made me laugh until my belly hurt. Paul was not too thrilled to see the movie, as he says I tricked him. (he thought we were seeing "Hall Pass" but that isn't out yet, hehehe).

Paul and Joey went riding yesterday and for the first time I felt, well, really pregnant. Riding is one of my favorite hobbies and weekend activities to do and it was so hard for me to watch them drive away, without me. I could have gone, but they were going to check out a new place in the desert that we weren't sure had bathrooms. It's a good thing I didn't go because I would have been squatting next to a cactus. I really don't mind squatting in the desert but pregnant and squatting isn't something I want to experience unless I absolutely have to.

They had such a great time and came home with stories, laughs and of course a closer bond. Every day that has gone by over the past five years has brought them closer to one another and I love seeing it. Paul truly is an awesome father to Joey and Joey sees it and appreciates it. Makes my heart melt, knowing I found "the one".

Since I won't be traveling home next month for a baby shower, my mom and her sister decided to have a virtual baby shower for me.  I am so excited that they all still want to get together and have a shower, honoring little baby Gerbi even though I won't be there, in person. I'll get to experience the whole thing via Skype and my mom is going to act as me and open my presents. I can't wait!!! It really shows me how much my family loves me and makes me smile. I am truly blessed and so thankful.

 

 

 

HypnoBirthing

I knew from the beginning that I was going to sign up for some sort of birth class with my husband, just wasn't sure what it was going to be. When I was pregnant with my son Joey, I went through a Lamaze class at the military hospital on Oahu and it was great. Most of the sessions my friend Lisa accompanied me (since my ex-husband was gone a lot) and they were very informative. I pretty much remember all of the Lamaze techniques and how to breathe, so I wanted something different this time around.

I had read a little bit about Hypnobirthing in one of the many pregnancy handouts I got from my Dr.'s office and it sparked a little interest. It takes a whole different approach to natural birthing, using a relaxation technique and adopting the philosophy that pain doesn't have to accompany labor. You can read more about it here.

 Hypnobirthing

Once I found out that I may have to have a cesarean section in order to "deliver" my baby instead of giving birth to him, a lot of my excitement for classes such as these went out the window. I stopped looking in to them in fear of getting my hopes up for a natural vaginal delivery.

Today, my friend Kori called me and asked me if I'd be interested in taking a hypnobirthing class with her, and her husband. I was instantly excited and felt that with my positive thinking, maybe, just maybe I could still have the natural birth that I want. When I went on to the hypnobirthing website, I found several bits of information that it can also be beneficial to mothers who have to have a necessary cesarean section! Where do I sign up?

I'm excited to start this class, it's going to be once a week for 9 weeks. Crazy, thinking that I am due in just 17 short weeks, the timing will be perfect. It will also be a great experience to go through this class with another couple that we are friends with! (She is due just 4 weeks after me).

"When you change the way you view birth,

the way you birth will change."

-Marie F. Mongan

Thoughts and fears

I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that my only choice for delivery may be a c-section. The number one thing that matters is that I have a healthy baby boy in my arms, but how he gets here has always been something I took for granted.

I gave birth to Joey completely natural, almost 12 years ago. Even when I was 19, I felt strongly about natural, drug free births and the thought never crossed my mind that I would have to have a c-section. Now, going into this pregnancy the thought never crossed my mind either. From the moment that we started talking about trying to get pregnant, I had talked with my husband about my birthing beliefs. It's so hard for me to accept the possibility and I'm just not sure how to "get over it" and just accept reality. Millions of women go through the surgery method of birth and they recover just fine, as do their babies. I just never thought I might be one of those women.

I'm not going to lie. I'm scared and terrified. I don't want an epidural. It terrifies me to think of someone putting a needle in my already screwed up spine. I don't want to have dr's cut open my abdomen to remove the baby, I want him to come when he's ready and the natural way, so I can hold him and nurse him as soon as possible. I understand that if my condition doesn't get better, it's very dangerous to both me and baby if I was to try a vaginal delivery but I'm just praying that my condition gets better and I don't even have to worry about all of this crap! February 7 can't get here soon enough.

I've gained 12 pounds since the day I tested positive. I'm 21 weeks, 5 days and to me that seems like a lot of weight. I know that it's normal, and I'm going to gain weight but I'm sorry, no matter who you are, weight is weight and it's hard to swallow. I love seeing my growing belly, I just don't love seeing my growing butt. In the mirror it looks the same, but I can tell the difference when I try on certain clothes that fit me just two weeks ago... they are a little tight in the bottom area. My weight gain goal is 25 maybe 30 pounds. I'm hoping that I can stay on track and stay within those numbers especially if I do end up having to have a c-section, since I can't start exercising as soon after delivery.

I think the one thing I love more than anything is not just feeling little Honda move around but having Joey sit with his hand on my belly feeling his brothers little kicks and squirms. It truly is a happy mommy moment and I will never forget it. It's something that you can't ever get back so I'm enjoying every second of it. I'm not trying to hide my belly either, now that it actually looks like a pregnant belly and not just a beer belly and I really can't imagine what it's going to look like in another 12 weeks or even 15 weeks. It already seem so huge to me!!

Babies are a blessing and I am so thankful I am getting to experience all that motherhood brings. I may whine and complain but who doesn't? Deep down, I am thankful, compassionate and so happy to have another baby boy to call my own!

Registry.

It's starting to feel more real now. This whole baby thing. I registered yesterday at Babies R Us and figured out pretty much everything I need and want for this little guy. It's more or less a list of things I'll need to buy before he arrives.

Little Honda has been kicking so much over the past day or so. I think it's just that he's getting bigger so I am feeling it more often, and it's the best feeling in the world! I love the little taps and jabs. I slept a little better last night, which was needed after the lack of sleep I got Monday night. My nausea was back and I actually got sick, which hasn't happened in a few months. It seemed more like it was brought on by my acid reflux, and it's wasn't pleasant.

I've officially dropped my spring semester classes. I just couldn't get the right mindset and I don't want to be stressing about that. I'd like to focus on family and the baby and getting ready for his arrival. The heaviest workload was going to be April-May and with my due date being May 29, with the possibility of a C-Section in the first week of May, I didn't want to chance it. I'll pick up a class in the Summer II session and if not there, definitely in the fall.

I shouldn't be doing this, but I'm going to finish watching this week's Bachelor episode, I know... I know...

Little Honda

What a fantastic weekend! Our friends from Yuma were in town visiting along with their parents from Kansas City. We had a houseful on Friday night, but it was so enjoyable!! I got to spend so much time holding our friend's 3 week old baby girl Makenna. She is a doll... I can't wait until our little guy is born. Taylor, our friend's 3-year-old, said that we should name our baby "Kawasaki" (like the motorcycle) then switched it up to "Honda" because we ride Honda's. So... little guy has adopted the nickname of Honda until we decide which name best suits him.

Joey had another football game on Saturday. The weather was great, and showed me that I need to invest in a pair of maternity shorts. I was wearing blue jeans and a tank top but was a little warm in the 78 degree sun. Paul's cousin Stacie was able to come to the game too, that really made Joey happy! They ended up winning the game 18-12 so it puts their team 2-0 so far for this season. Go Hawks!

Supercross was on Saturday night and of course we went to that. We never miss it. We had pretty good seats and it's always awesome to watch the races live (since we watch all of the other ones from our couch). I was a little disappointed with the outcome of the main event but that's only because my boy Ryan Dungey didn't win. There wasn't a lot of competition and they all just kind of kept to themselves out there. Don't get me wrong, the race was still great!

We made our first "baby" purchase yesterday afternoon. We started out at BabiesRus to look at cribs and rocking chairs. We have a better idea of what we want to get as far as a crib now, and the rocking chairs they had were terrible. We went to LazyBoy to see what kind of recliner/rockers they had and BAM! We found the perfect chair. I can't wait to pick it up on Wednesday and starting rocking this little guy... I want him to be used to the rocking when he's born.

Joey doesn't have school today so it's kind of a lazy housecleaning type of day. I don't think we'll be going anywhere, except for maybe a walk to the park. We might even get a head start on packing up some of his room getting ready to move rooms around in preparation for the baby.

I've been feeling pretty good the past few days, in the evening my back and belly start to ache. It's almost as if I can feel my stomach stretching. I guess that's a good thing, means little Honda is growing!!! Today I am 21 weeks 1 day, only 18 weeks to go!

Curve ball

It is so hard to believe that I am already half way there. It seems like yesterday I was laying in bed praying for the nausea to go away. Now it only visits me in spurts. The heart burn is what has started lately....

We took Joe to the ultrasound appt again with us on Monday, he thinks it's pretty cool to see his baby brother on the monitor. We feel it's very important to keep him involved in our growing family since he's so used to be an only child.  He's so excited to have a little brother and knows how important his role is in the family. Baby boy will definitely be looking up to Joe as his idol!

At my appointment on Monday my midwife told us that I have Partial Placenta Previa. I was quite upset about it when she told us that most likely the only form of delivery I could endure would be via C-Section. I am a completely natural, Bradley Method sort of person and this news was very hard for me to hear. However, I do know that what's most important is that baby gets here safely and healthy.

She advised me to take it easy for the next 4 weeks and I am to have another ultrasound on Feb 7 to see if my previa has improved or if it has gotten worse. I am praying that it gets better and I will still be able to have a natural vaginal birth. I am still walking every day, but she told me to not do any strenuous activites and to avoid intercourse (poor Paul).

It's definitely a curve ball I wasn't ready to be up at bat for. Paul keeps reminding me that, "Everything happens for a reason" and I'm still trying to figure out the reasoning behind all of this. I've had a natural birth in the past, I've read the books again and have prepared myself but now I may have to have a "Delivery Day" instead of birth day? I'm hoping that I can get more used to that.

As I type, baby boy is kicking me and causing me some serious acid reflux. Only a preview of what's to come in the next 20 weeks...

New Year. New Blessings. New Challenges.

It's a new year with new challenges, changes and blessings. I haven't written in a while because I have been busy with school and traveling the past couple of months.

Where to begin...

I'm pregnant. 20 weeks 3 days to be precise. We just found out on Monday that we will be welcoming a little boy into our family and we are all so extremely excited! Joey has been working hard on lists of names that we all like and we are hoping by the time the little human makes his entrance, we'll have a name chosen.

The first 12 weeks were very difficult, I was sick all of the time, both with nausea and colds. No matter how healthy I ate and kept up my exercise regimen I couldn't help but picking up colds from the supermarket and wherever else we went on the weekends. Thankfully, all that has passed and I have been feeling great. I've gained a total of 10lbs since date of conception, which to me, isn't that bad considering I'm halfway there.

Joe started playing football in October and has been enjoying it immensely. He practices two nights a week for 2 hours each night and has a game every Saturday. He asked us if he could continue playing through the winter months, so we've got 8 more games to go. He's really becoming a nice young man and getting stronger and stronger with each game. Last weekend he even recovered a fumble!

When I was 7 weeks pregnant, Paul found out that he would be getting laid off at work. It was mid-October and he was told his last day would be December 1. A little bit scary and not at all what we had envisioned. Luckily after a lot of hard work and searching, many interviews, he found an even better job than he had before. He started there last week and has loved every day so far. It's a great company and they seem to really take care of their employees.

Paul was off work for a month and a half, which allowed us to travel to California to see our families at both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Both visits were very nice but we were happy to be home, in our own beds and with our own routine. We really do love Arizona and are so happy that we moved here. It's hard to believe we've been here for a little over 2 years already. Amazing how quickly time goes.

School has been going well for me, I'm only going to be taking one class this semester. The last English class that I will need for my general education requirements. I chose to only take one class because the semester ends May 13 and I am due May 29. Didn't want to give myself too much stress come April-May. 

It's nap time...